Spiders. Spiders as big as tennis balls, rolling through our house like, well, tennis balls. Bigger than tennis balls. As big as microwave ovens. I have photos. Why?
It would be a filthy lie if I said I was personally invited to the South Island secondary school rugby final between Otago Boys' High and St Bede's of Christchurch 10 days ago, but there WAS an email invitation, not discernibly part of a desperate mass mail, please make the crowd bigger to help our boys.
They say everyone has one book in them. I have spent a lifetime searching for that book, while some writers, who can really only be referred to as idiots, have written more than a dozen.
One of the most memorable Seinfeld storylines was when the hapless George Costanza elected to address every problem in his life by going completely against his instincts.
Sixties movie siren Mamie Van Doren - could we ever forget The Beat Generation, or, most especially, High School Confidential? - once opined that you can tell the cut of a man's jib from his choice in office chairs.