As far as I can remember, it was the Dalai Llama who said if a man couldn't slay two birds with one stone, then he really wasn't much chop.
Given that my DIY track record over the years has been, ow you say, scant, it seems strange that I approach every Queen's Birthday weekend with the intention of getting something done around the house.
Discipline is sacrosanct in parenting.
This is a story about greed, corruption, insanity and the immaturity of youth. It is almost pointless to add that a story with these features could only involve horse racing.
I was watching the rugby. The Highlanders. Spellbinding. But my attention was being eaten into by a faraway voice, seriously affecting my ability to understand how the Highlanders were winning when the Chiefs were playing so much better.
It was extremely pleasurable for me last Friday to coffee with a man as blind as I.
I don't think anyone would disagree for a single second that lying your head off at a social function is a tremendously under-appreciated skill.
Most rational thinkers would agree that a life lived without meeting an exceptionally intelligent human is simply a life not lived.
You can tell a music city by the strength of its busking. Memphis has a street music culture so strong you feel as if you should be eating alligator while you watch.
Most rational thinkers would agree Joe Bennett is the finest columnist in the world today.
In last week's column I described digging out a 1961 class photo in the basement, but this search unearthed something even scarier, a box filled to overflowing of all thing primary school.
Most rational thinkers would agree there are two types of Christmas presents: smart presents bought both for and by people with big brains and an extremely sound idea of what is good and proper in this wretched life we are currently reeling from, and cretinously simple moronic presents, fads, destined to flood the charity stores of the city by as early as Boxing Day.
Scientists attempting to explain the feat of the Rosetta spaceship whanging a robot thingee down on the comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko, said it was like shooting a bullet at a speeding bullet while blindfolded and riding a horse.
The 16th century poet John Donne, who wrote of death like no other, once said Coronation Street is at its best when Ken Barlow is on the pull.