It is a great day when the hurdles have been cleared and the winning post crossed, writes David Knox.
When my son graduated with a degree recently it was certainly one of the best days of my life. Just like any accomplishment for anybody there was a history to the final achievement. It was particularly satisfying as his education almost ended at 16 years of age.
My son was extensively bullied during his schooling. Without going into too much detail, let me just say he has always had more challenges and barriers to overcome than most. I had to take him out of one high school when the personal effects of the bullying got too much. I tried at the time to get the situation addressed. Going to the principal was little help. Although they did not condone bullying, it seemed to be regarded as ''just one of those things that happen in a school with 1000 pupils in a relatively small space''.
Other parents whose children had been bullied would not come forward as they believed their other children would be bullied more by telling certain people. This school was ''investigated'' a few years later for a ''culture of bullying'' when a parent went to the media, something else I had considered at the time.
At a new school the bullying started almost immediately and my son's reaction to being bullied saw him being ''excluded'' in a week. The principal said before the board of trustees meeting that it was certain that he would be excluded no matter what the circumstances. They did not seem to be interested in what triggered the behaviour, i.e., the bullying.
After three months in alternative education, the pressure was on to find another school or we could just finish school when he turned 16. It was tempting to regard the bullying as just too big a problem, something that could not be overcome. Fortunately, we found another school and moved house. At this school (I don't mind saying it was Logan Park High School), there was not the same problem with bullying.
The pupils, being more of a multicultural mix and many having a wider world-view, seemed more accepting of any perceived differences. The school seemed to create an atmosphere of treating everyone with respect. The staff seemed to encourage individuality, creativity, artistic endeavours, strengths and personal development. It was a safe atmosphere, also with 1000 people in a relatively small space, in which bullying of any type was not acceptable.
My son thrived in this environment and increased in self-esteem and self-worth. His studies improved and he was significantly happier. No more bullying resulted in no more ''incidents''. In some regards it is as simple as that. He left with two merits.
On to Otago Polytechnic (and I don't mind saying the Dunedin School of Art), which also provided a safe environment to help people reach their potential. Three to four years of hard work and the result: a degree. I am so proud of that but even more proud of the type of person he has become.
- Dave Knox is a qualified counsellor and supports people with disabilities.
Tell us about your best day.
Write to odt.features@odt.co.nz or ODT Features, PO Box 181 Dunedin. We ask correspondents not to nominate weddings or births - of course they were the best days.
