Richard Thomas Devlin, 67, appeared in the Dunedin District Court last week after pleading guilty to a sex attack in 2011 he claimed he did not remember.
"I can’t say I didn’t, but I can’t say I did," the man told police.
The woman’s statement was read in court, detailing how the incident had derailed her life, leaving her with very few memories of her childhood.
"I think about what my life might have looked like if I hadn’t had to overcome this obstacle."
The woman said she first contemplated suicide when she was just 11 years old, was medicated for anxiety by 14 and overdosed at 18.
"I felt worthless, dirty, guilty and resentful."
The woman said she still suffered from drastic mood swings — oscillating between depression, rage and elevated states.
Dangerous decision-making led to her dabbling in drugs, sex and alcohol.
"I know how it feels to want to die every day."
When Devlin was 55 years old and the victim was 7, he entered her bedroom while she was sleeping.
He put his hand between her thighs and rubbed her groin for so long she felt a stinging pain.
She pretended to be asleep.
The woman said she had intrusive memories of the event, effecting all aspects of her life.
"I slept with my dresser across my door sometimes, but I never knew why," she said.
The court was provided with character references from people who had known Devlin for over 40 years, outlining his positive traits.
Devlin received credit for his good character, remorse and "strong links to the community", the court heard.
He maintained his stance of not being able to confirm the assault but reportedly pleaded guilty to save his victim from further trauma.
"I would be doing your victim an injustice if I attempted to summarise the impact this has had on her," Judge David Robinson said.
"The trauma is profound and ongoing and that is down to you."
Devlin was sentenced to six months’ home detention, 200 hours’ community work and ordered to pay the woman $5000.
erin.cox@odt.co.nz , PIJF Court Reporter
