Making a mockery of marriage

The news two young Dunedin heterosexual men were marrying to win a radio station competition and a trip to the 2015 Rugby World Cup in England has, not unreasonably, raised concerns.

The competition mocks an important institution in our culture and society. That is disappointing. Gay groups are horrified, and conservatives are also disturbed, in both cases understandably.

Otago University Students' Association Queer Support co-ordinator Neil Ballantyne said the marriage was an ''insult'' because marriage equality was a ''hard fought'' battle for gay people.

The radio station wedding trivialised what was fought for. LegaliseLove Aotearoa Wellington co-chairman Joseph Habgood, meanwhile, says the point of the competition is that men marrying each other is still something thought worth having a laugh at.

Family First national director and Conservative election candidate Bob McCoskrie agrees the competition makes a mockery of marriage but says the outrage by gay rights groups is ironic. He says that when marriage is redefined and moved from its proper intent and purpose these sorts of stunts will become more common.

The reaction of gay groups, nevertheless, does indicate marriage as it has developed is and should be a serious commitment between loving people. It still should not be entered into lightly.

Marriages over the ages have often been about property and family links and sometimes convenience or survival.

In fact, marriage has been evolving over the centuries and the idea of it being a sexually exclusive and romantic pairing between one man and one woman is relatively recent, certainly outside Europe and pockets of North America.

Nevertheless, although ''love'' might often have been absent, and still can be today, treating marriage as a joke or a stunt is another matter. It has to be wondered, too, if some celebrity nuptials make a mockery of marriage.

Kim Kardashian, for example, filed for divorce in 2011 after being hitched to basketballer Kris Humphries for only 72 days. An intriguing trend in New Zealand and the West has been the reinvigoration of marriage as a big social event. Couples and families are spending huge amounts on their ''special'' day.

The marriage day itself, whatever the motivation, is certainly being treated seriously. Hopefully, that will flow on to married life because it should be entered into as an extremely serious commitment for life between two people.

As one traditional vows says: ''to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part''.

Sadly, marriage break-ups are too common, sometimes despite the sincere efforts of those concerned. Life, even with the best of intentions originally, often does not mean life.

For a while it seemed in the West that ''marriage'' was becoming redundant. Couples frequently live together and have children without the need to be ''married''. The law caught up with this many years ago with ''de facto'' property and other rights.

It seems there are few impediments to two people being ''legally free to marry''. They need not be married already, be aged 16 or over (at 16 or 17 parental consent is still required) and not closely related in certain ways.

So ''best mates'' Travis McIntosh and Matt McCormick did get married and won their rugby trip.

While their ''marriage'' is regrettable, and that and similar sentiments can be expressed, the best reaction is, nonetheless, to avoid taking their actions too seriously.

Although the competition makes a mockery of marriage and we might not be amused, we are fortunate to live in a society where such stunts can take place, where speech is relatively free and where ideas we might hold dear can be mocked.

The alternative of a tightly restricted, oppressive society - all too common around the world - does not bear thinking about.

If the evolving institution of marriage is, in fact, strong enough - whether traditionally between heterosexual man and women or some some other combination - then it can stand a few insults.