Liz Breslin, of Hawea Flat, reflects on a trip that was "interesting as".
The woman at the information centre told us the road was "hairy as". Semi similes. That's the way we talk here. Did we only learn the first half at school? Or is it just more fun to insert your own comparison? Hairy as a heffalump? Hairy as a husband's back? Hairy as a head? In fact, how can a road be hairy at all?
And then there's our emphatic superlation. Case in point. The journey from Alex to Roxburgh took a big hour. The roads. Some of them were very closed. For totally ages. Getting to Dunedin from Hawea? That was frustrating as. Took a massive six hours.
The info centre lady, despite her love of the hirsute, was helpful as. But with the Roadwatch website completely overloaded and the freefone constantly engaged, there was not much she could tell us about the journey ahead. As it goes, it went fine. The roads were icy as and there were some idiots who insisted on driving wickedly close as behind us like they couldn't tell we were cautious as in these kinds of conditions.
It was big snow in some areas. The main street of Lawrence was slushy as. The genuine granny in the fully massive four-wheel-drive behind us was awesome as. She stopped to check we were OK in our staunch as Starlet that made it through the icy as patches even in two-wheel drive. Sweet as. Well, we were 'til we made it to Dunedin airport.
First we had to wait at a flashing barrier for an aeroplane to cross the flight path/road. That was freaky as. Then, as we were shuffling towards the front of the service line desk, happy as to make it that far, the stressed as guy on the intercom thing told us the flights were all utterly cancelled today and entirely booked tomorrow and to go back home safely on the roads and have a nice day. Hmm.
I wasn't even supposed to be flying out of Dunedin, but the Wanaka flight to Wellington was completely, totally, utterly cancelled. The airport was closed as. And the flights for the next coupla days were chocker - booked up as - from Wanaka and Queeny; hence driving six hairy as hours on a hope and a wait list.
Still, we were in a better mood than the guy behind us in line. He'd paid a whopping seven hundred dollars for a taxi to Dunedin from Queenstown airport. Expensive as! Crazy as? I'd be mad as, mate, if I'd spent that much money, not to mention time doing polite taxi chat, only to stay firmly grounded in Dunners. Grounded as a grounded thing on a grounded day. Fully stuck.
Still, Amy on the phone from Air New Zealand was lovely as, once we'd waded through huge hours of engaged bleeps and attempts at soothing recorded tones.
By the time we were re-booked as (again) we'd made our way from the airport into Dunedin. Roads were gritty as, shops were totally closed and we'd just about let down our guard and relaxed when a huge as truck skimmed past us, spitting a wave of slush over the windscreen. Scary as. Blind as bats (sorry, I had to complete that one), we exhorted the Starlet's basic as wipers to do overtime and somehow stayed on the road.
As journeys go, I've been on trips with more successful outcomes. Where I actually got to the place I wanted to go, instead of further in the opposite direction. But the snow, the roads and the resulting chaos did turn a work day into a road trip with a friend. And that? Sweet as.
