A must-have: the singing Christmas tree
It's that time of the year again. The frustrating frenzy of present buying, the shambles of party planning, emotional and fractious family reunions all culminating in nervous breakdowns in plague...
Nothing Too Serious
The crime wave at the hall
The crime wave at the hall
My holiday reading came from the Patearoa public library.
Encouraging staff to nurture dreams
Encouraging staff to nurture dreams
How cruel ratepayers can be. I've heard people slagging off at the Dunedin City Council for spending more than half a million dollars each year on staff training.
Surprise attack should overcome Richie's knighthood reticence
Surprise attack should overcome Richie's knighthood reticence
Parliament Buildings, Wellington, New Zealand
Goths have pierced our airport
Goths have pierced our airport
The Barbarians are at the gate. The ramparts have been breached and the very entrance to the city is in the hands of the Vandals or, more accurately, the Goths.
Designing politician waives the flag
Designing politician waives the flag
Welcome to this first meeting of the Flag Options Panel (FOP).
New spin on 'non-contact'
New spin on 'non-contact'
Blame the Cricket World Cup, but the conversation among the bunch of old blokes I drink with has turned to memories of feats performed with willow and leather.
T-i-m-e is on their side, yes it is
T-i-m-e is on their side, yes it is
''M'lud, may it please the court, I represent the defendants in this case, which in the opinion of any sensible practitioner of the law should never have come before this august assemblage of the finest minds in the profession, excepting perhaps my learned friend the prosecuting counsel who is, incidentally, neither learned nor my friend.
It's not what you say but how you say it
It's not what you say but how you say it
You will have heard many times the politician who thinks ''referendum'' is pronounced ''refrendum''.
Square Peg Recruiting comes up with candidate to fill Labour hole
Square Peg Recruiting comes up with candidate to fill Labour hole
The Labour Party's quest for a leader to take the faithful to a glorious triumph in the 2017 elections may take some time.
Yes, I've voted, in my own time and place
Yes, I've voted, in my own time and place
''Don't Vote! It Only Encourages Them!'' I had always thought this was just a clever little bumper sticker slogan. Rather like its antithesis ''Vote Early! And Often!''
Least said, soonest mended, but with a sting
Least said, soonest mended, but with a sting
Years ago, I became enmeshed in the public speaking circuit. It started innocently enough.
Drowning your sorrows is the only option when it costs extra to pay cash
Drowning your sorrows is the only option when it costs extra to pay cash
''It's outrageous! They charged me a dollar fifty for actually going into their blasted shop with cash to pay their blasted telephone bill. It's nothing less than highway robbery! 'Pay online,' they said, whatever that means.''
'Politico obnoxus' sightings prompt pest board warning
'Politico obnoxus' sightings prompt pest board warning
A timely warning (an ''advisory'' they call it, in keeping with their bureaucratic image) has been issued by the Pest Eradication Board (PEB) and it is worth running here as the media have generally ignored it in favour of stories about Prince George's birthday.
It's all tickety-boo at the council
It's all tickety-boo at the council
As you know, to find out about city council matters it is usually necessary to invoke the provisions of the Official Information Act but this column is fortunate in having a mole within the council who, for the price of a few beers, happily hands over documents of all kinds.
Exam markers, don't make a blue and use red ink
Exam markers, don't make a blue and use red ink
''You write some awful rubbish,'' a friend commented. I thanked him with a modest lowering of the eyes and muttered, ''Nothing, really.''
One can always do with some friends in high places
One can always do with some friends in high places
As John Key pondered the offer of an elephant from Sri Lanka (only the excess baggage fees held him back) his far more important personal meeting with the Queen a month or so back was almost forgotten.
Totally unbiased about bowling return
Totally unbiased about bowling return
Dunedin writer and broadcaster Jim Sullivan marks the opening of the summer bowls season.
Stop your local body poll worries
Stop your local body poll worries
We need to stop losing sleep over this local body election business. Here's some advice which may end the torment.
Getting paid to put something back
Getting paid to put something back
I've just had a funny phone call. At first I thought it was one of those clowns trying to sell something.