The Labour Party's quest for a leader to take the faithful to a glorious triumph in the 2017 elections may take some time.
''Don't Vote! It Only Encourages Them!'' I had always thought this was just a clever little bumper sticker slogan. Rather like its antithesis ''Vote Early! And Often!''
Years ago, I became enmeshed in the public speaking circuit. It started innocently enough.
''It's outrageous! They charged me a dollar fifty for actually going into their blasted shop with cash to pay their blasted telephone bill. It's nothing less than highway robbery! 'Pay online,' they said, whatever that means.''
A timely warning (an ''advisory'' they call it, in keeping with their bureaucratic image) has been issued by the Pest Eradication Board (PEB) and it is worth running here as the media have generally ignored it in favour of stories about Prince George's birthday.
As you know, to find out about city council matters it is usually necessary to invoke the provisions of the Official Information Act but this column is fortunate in having a mole within the council who, for the price of a few beers, happily hands over documents of all kinds.
''You write some awful rubbish,'' a friend commented. I thanked him with a modest lowering of the eyes and muttered, ''Nothing, really.''
As John Key pondered the offer of an elephant from Sri Lanka (only the excess baggage fees held him back) his far more important personal meeting with the Queen a month or so back was almost forgotten.
Dunedin writer and broadcaster Jim Sullivan marks the opening of the summer bowls season.
We need to stop losing sleep over this local body election business. Here's some advice which may end the torment.
I've just had a funny phone call. At first I thought it was one of those clowns trying to sell something.
Let this column, known for its political insights, be the first to introduce you to Karl Varley. Before too long he will be a National Party MP.
Now that the proposal for a waterfront high-rise hotel has been turned down, I can reveal the real deal.
''Gosh, it's eerie in here.''''Yes. I always have a window open.''
Click! Click! Hoy! Hoy! Hey, waiter!!! Yes, sir? And about time. Didn't you see me clicking?
''Hey, Jim. How would you like an all-expenses-paid Easter break at Te Anau?''
I wish the moaners would stop giving the Dunedin City Council a hard time. Those hard-core whingers are knocking some great achievements - the grand stadium; the John Wilson Ocean Dr soap opera; the cheerful parking wardens and the hugely popular Chinese Garden. How petty the criticisms have been, haven't they?
Good morning and welcome to the first teachers-only day for 2013. I trust the break has given you a chance to recharge your batteries and do any other minor maintenance the motorcar may have required.
While most of us are aware of the good work done by the Dunedin-based National Poisons Centre, another Dunedin service carries out its vital function almost anonymously. It's the National Apostrophe Centre (NAC) which is housed in the English department at the University of Otago.
There is an intolerable level of what appears to be well-meaning insincerity abroad these days.
