My daughter asked me to have a chat with a young couple soon to be parents.
I tried to palm the conversation off on to her on the grounds that she'd been a new parent a lot more recently than I had, but she would have nothing of it.
Ideally, I would have printed off a few "handouts'' of earlier columns to complement the conversation but, as I was on the other side of the world, I didn't have access so was forced to jot down some key points to cover.
So, today, a summary on parenthood based on my recall of past writings and the "conversation'' with the young couple.
Becoming a parent is major.
Creating a new life is probably the biggest thing you will ever do and your life will never be the same again.
Ever.
Children take up a lot of time and energy and you never really stop being concerned about them or for them no matter how old they are.
More than anything else you need to hang on to, and at times desperately cling to, the reality that there's no such thing as the perfect parent.
Equally, there's no such thing as the perfect child.
We all learn on the job and we all make mistakes, lots of them.
When you start, it's natural to feel a lack of confidence at times.
For most of us the only parenting experience we've had beyond a little bit of babysitting is having been parented ourselves.
It's a 24-hour-a-day job and because of that you can't expect to be at peak performance 24 hours a day.
If you do, then it's easy to fall into the trap of feeling that you are somehow failing your children and yourself.
Nor is parenting an exact science.
It's about responding to your feelings and those of your children.
It's about unconditional love.
There's no magic formula beyond that.
Family life won't always be a bed of roses but, unless you do something deliberately cruel or negligent, you'll find that, whatever else you do, your children will still trust you, love you and miss you when you're not around.
Key point here: children were built to withstand being raised by fallible human beings who genuinely love and care for them.
There will be times when you would wish them off the face of the earth and times when they'll fill you with overwhelming feelings of love and give you great joy.
When things aren't so good, just remember that every day is not only a new start for them, but also a new start for you.
- Ian Munro
