Young depression survivor to tell her story

Klaudia Bennett prepares to talk about her mental health issues at an event marking World Suicide Prevention Day, watched by her mother, Lisa Lindsay. Photo: Stephen Jaquiery

Klaudia Bennett thought she was the only one who felt the way she did.

Now the Dunedin 16-year-old knows many others have depression or anxiety, and she wants to let those people know they are not alone.

"I am sick of everyone being ashamed of it and keeping it under the covers," Klaudia — who will tell her story at an event being staged by the Life Matters Suicide Prevention Trust on Monday to mark World Suicide Prevention Day — said.

"Everyone has a voice and they need to speak out about it ... I didn’t think I could suffer from something like this, and it has changed my perspective on everything.

"It needs to be something we should talk about — people should know that there are amazing services out there that can help you. You are not alone; you just need to take that step and reach out."

Klaudia said she had a good upbringing but there had been speed bumps along the way, such as bullying at primary school, her parents’ separation, and her mother’s subsequent unhappy relationship with an ex-partner.

"I was still having good times, but bad times came with that where I was slowly falling into a trap where I wasn’t myself."

Last year Klaudia started missing one or two days of school a week with severe pains, agony that was being treated as a problem possibly requiring surgical intervention.

Klaudia’s condition was so severe that she was taken to hospital with stomach pains, nausea and inability to eat.

However, an alert counsellor picked up signs from Klaudia that her issues could be symptomatic of a mental rather than a physical illness.

One Monday, after once again missing school, Klaudia was put into the care of the Emergency Psychiatric Service, and then transferred to Wakari Hospital.

"That was where my world changed," she said.

"Wakari is meant to be your worst nightmare, this scary evil place where all the mental people go, but it’s not.

"I went there thinking ‘what are they doing with me?’ but when I realised what it was like up at the ward I wondered what was it that people were talking about — they were all lovely up there and I was treated amazingly."

After a five-day stay, Klaudia was discharged, now knowing that she was dealing with anxiety and depression — but her challenges were far from over.

"All I was thinking about was suicide," she said.

"It was horrible and I just wanted to end this pain of not being me and feeling lost."

Support from the Youth Specialty Service, its day programme Rapoi — where Klaudia was encouraged to return to school — and friends and family had been invaluable, she said.

But the biggest breakthrough in Klaudia’s recovery has been a new-found love of water.

"It makes me feel free, alive, and me again," Klaudia said.

"If I didn’t have the water I wouldn’t be here: the pills helped, but being outdoors and the fresh air has changed my life."

From initial reluctance to accept an invitation to go swimming, Klaudia now goes to the pool and the beach, and she snorkels and boogie boards.

"When you’re swimming you don’t think about everything that’s going on — that stuff doesn’t matter."

Klaudia’s story shows how hard mental illness can be to spot, her mother, Lisa Lindsay, said.

Despite working in the field herself, she thought her daughter’s problems were a physical ailment.

"We believed we were looking to find what was surgically wrong with her: it wasn’t until her counsellor said she needed extra support that it hit us."

Now Klaudia has regained her life and her self-confidence, and is secure about telling her story.

"My English teacher has been very supportive and she’s the one who has encouraged me to do this speech. She’s been amazing," Klaudia said.

"When I speak I will be talking about what I have been through and how I came out the other side.

"Just because you struggle with anxiety, depression, anything like that, the mental illness doesn’t define who you are — it’s something you are struggling with right now, but it’s not who you are."

The event, which features five speakers, is being held at First Church on September 10, starting at 5.30pm.

Life Matters founder Corinda Taylor said Klaudia’s story was a positive one and she had received excellent treatment.

However, it highlighted the need for age-appropriate services to be available for children with mental health issues.

"Too many people go unsupported," she said.

"Help is there, but it can be the luck of the draw if you get it or not ... but anybody can provide support —peer support is the way to go."

mike.houlahan@odt.co.nz