Before I start this extremely important business of ranking New Zealand sports stars on a completely arbitrary set of guidelines I just invented, let me offer an advance defence:This is an imperfect science.
There is no simple formula to determine which athlete from which sport must rank above another.
Is it fair to say Valerie Vili ranks higher than Ryan Nelsen? Of course it is - she won an Olympic gold medal.
But of course it is not - he has been ranked one of the greatest 11 footballers on the planet by many outlets.
Even within sports, the business of ranking players is difficult to the point of pointlessness.
Is Brendon McCullum or Ross Taylor the better cricketer?
Do you pick Irene van Dyk or Casey Williams first if you coach the Silver Ferns?
My list boiled down to:
1. My gut feeling.
2. Where the athletes' achievements rank.
3. The specific reasons why we should care about these athletes above any others.
4. Personal bias. This is my list, not yours. I deliberately ignored the "global impact" theory. What a load of fluff.
These are the athletes who matter to our country, our sports fans, and I don't want to devalue any of them based on what the rest of the world thinks.
Fourteen sports are represented, and six of the 25 are female.
Those seem reasonable numbers.
Without further ado . . .
1. RICHIE MCCAW (rugby)
The leader of the nation
Like it or not, the All Blacks still attract the most interest and still set the tone for New Zealand sport.
McCaw must rank at the top of this list, and not just because he was born in Oamaru.
He's the best player in the world in a key position (openside flanker), he's the sole irreplaceable member of the team, and he's just won a record 40th test as All Black captain.
If he can lift the World Cup next year, there will be a fair case for him to be regarded as the greatest All Black of all time.
2. DANIEL VETTORI (cricket)
Mr Cricket
Take Daniel Vettori out of the Black Caps and you rob them of their captain, their de facto coach, their best bowler and one of their three best batsmen.
He's also the only New Zealand cricketer who would be a chance of playing for EVERY other major country's national side.
The statistics say it all: 100 tests, 3962 runs, 325 wickets; 255 ODIs, 268 wickets.
3. VALERIE VILI (athletics)
All power and precision
From a sulky teenager to a classy, dominant, Olympic gold medallist - Vili has been on quite a journey, and maybe the best is yet to come.
Has had a rocky few months since parting ways with her coach but the sniff of another gold in London in 2012 will keep her on the right track.
4. RYAN NELSEN (football)
The white stuff
We knew he was good but we never really appreciated the effect he can have on others.
Nelsen draws his (hefty) paycheque from an English club but he marched into New Zealand sporting immortality with his leadership and performances at the World Cup.
5. MAHE DRYSDALE (rowing)
Oh to be oarsome
Shot to the top of the Gutsy Rankings when he won bronze in Beijing with a crook tummy and then collapsed.
A four-time world single sculls champion, and the talisman of the New Zealand team that will be on home water for the world championships later this year.
6. IRENE VAN DYK (netball)
As Kiwi as they come
The girl next door, if the girl next door was eight feet tall and had a touch of Seth Efrikan in her voice.
She is now in the twilight of her career but van Dyk is still banging in the goals and is crucial to the Silver Ferns' chances of winning Commonwealth Games gold and the world championships.
7. SCOTT DIXON (motorsport)
Revving up for glory
Drives for an American team in an American competition, earns (lots of) American dollars and is even starting to sound like an American.
But Dixon is our prince of petrolheads, an icy-veined assassin whose place in the pantheon of New Zealand motorsport is secure.
8. DAN CARTER (rugby)
The silky enigma
Blessed with extraordinary talent and seemingly incapable of getting flustered, the All Black first five is second only to McCaw in terms of importance to his team.
Carter is respected, rather than loved, because of his dry personality and a niggling suspicion he is a bit of a flat-track bully.
But a match-winning kick in next year's World Cup final will change all that.
9. BENJI MARSHALL (rugby league)
The high-stepping whizz
A unique - and uniquely entertaining - player with the full range of skills and a winning mentality.
10. SHANE SMELTZ (football)
The master finisher
Comfortably our best striker since Wynton Rufer, he also showed at the World Cup he has a creative side.
THE REST
11. Brendon McCullum (cricket)
A glorious talent who has added consistency to the mix.
12. Kirk Penney (basketball)
The face and heart of Kiwi hoops.
13. Julian Dean (cycling)
Underrated workhorse and Tour de France regular once described as the best "leadout" rider in the world.
14. Casey Williams (netball)
Defensive colossus and second player picked in the Silver Ferns.
15. Dean Barker (yachting)
The America's Cup has lost its appeal to many but Barker is still one of world sailing's top skippers.
16. Ross Taylor (cricket)
Maturing into a good deputy leader and an outstanding batsman.
17. Alison Shanks (cycling)
Former world champion and the queen bee of a talented generation on two wheels.
18. David Tua (boxing)
May never get another proper title shot but is the only world-class heavyweight we've had in an awfully long time.
19. Winston Reid (football)
From no-name to coveted young defender. That's what a good World Cup can do for you.
20. Conrad Smith (rugby)
Has quietly emerged as a worthy successor to Tana Umaga and is the most influential All Black back not named Carter.
21. Michael Campbell (golf)
Don't laugh. He's still teeing it up with big boys, he's still invited to majors and he's still one of only two New Zealanders to win a big one.
22. Sean Marks (basketball)
Barely makes it on to the court these days but has picked up NBA contracts for a decade.
23. Paige Hareb (surfing)
Possibly her press outweighs her achievements but there is no questioning her talent or marketability.
24. Sarah Walker (BMX)
Possibly her press outweighs her achievements but there is no questioning her talent or marketability. Didn't I just say that?
25. Brad Thorn (rugby)
How can you not love a 35-year-old, Mosgiel-born, tough-guy-turned-religious-family-man, former Kangaroos league player - with the voice of a rusty barn door - who refuses to grow old and becomes the heart of the All Black tight five?
