Walking home from the supermarket one afternoon my flatmate Rosie was banned from making up pet names.
While the other two flatmates were testing out how many combinations of affectionate terms they could spew out their noses, Rosie seemed to be missing the mark completely.
Her pet names, more often than not, seemed to include a sordid mixture of bodily fluids, motions and orifices.
Though I'm not sure I could come up with anything quite as singularly repugnant as Rosie, I do feel we are on the same page when it comes to pet names.
There's just something so repulsive about being called honey bunch by anyone other than an elderly relative.
My contact with pet names has been relatively limited.
I can't remember my grandparents ever addressing me by anything other than my name, and my parents have a penchant for obscure nicknames that seems to have stuck with me.
In high school I was called Pablo by my friends for a number of years for no discernable reason.
Unfortunately, this means that the pet name experience has been forced upon me by those I would much rather address me by my full name than by some saccharine sub-moniker.
Judging from experience, I would say that early on in most women's lives the unsolicited pet name rears its ugly head in the form of the awkward teenage text message.
It would seem that while most teenagers are too riddled with social and personal anxiety to actually speak to a love interest in person, what is said within the confines of a text message knows no bounds.
Incapable of showing affection or even interest in person, the teenage boy will often repeatedly ''woo'' with a lovingly crafted ''babe'', ''sweetheart'', or ''princess''.
Later in life, those who probably shouldn't be calling you ''babe'' are usually strange men on the street, in cars, bars and workplaces.
These names and messages might be well-intentioned or commonplace - I think this is really where the root of my problem lies.
Pet names should not be unsolicited and they should not be coming from people you don't really know because, not only are pet names are infantilising, (particularly when a woman is on the receiving end) but I find them also to be indicative of a forcing of affection when there is a mutual understanding that those feelings are either unwanted or misdirected.
Calling someone by a pet name is a very public declaration of intimacy, and it can be very difficult to call someone out, even though you might be uncomfortable, once that declaration has been put out in the open.
In other words, their infantilising and declarative nature creates a definite power dynamic that generally doesn't work in a woman's favour.
Being infantilised by your grandmother might be irritating, but I'd hazard a guess that your grandma isn't calling you bunny to make it clear to you and anyone listening that you're the soft, sweet and powerless one in the situation.
You might say a pet name is nothing more than a sweet slip of the tongue, a loving habit, a sign of affection.
And I'd agree, if the people engaging in this fluffy nonsense are on the same page and it is coming from a place of mutual love and respect.
Or, if it is coming from an elderly second cousin who can't remember your name.
I might be overly sensitive, but coming from most anyone else pet names make me exceptionally uncomfortable and so does their heavily gendered nature and execution.
Millie Lovelock is a Dunedin student.
