Nobody from a lifestyle magazine will beat a path to my door to display it in all its tattiness.
I can live with that.
Also an overflowing jar of pens, a selection of empty bottles and jars, a container of wool-wash, a mortar and pestle (also home to various tea infusers), a sad flat-leaved parsley plant, the cheese grater, a plate of butter, a pack of handbag tissues, and an avalanche-in-waiting of washed dishes in the dish rack.
I could excuse its state on the grounds it is small, but I subscribe to my father’s theory benchtop clutter multiplies to take over the available surface no matter the length of the bench.
The light grey Formica which ran the length of my childhood farm kitchen was a case in point.
While the area near the stove and sink was orderly, it was a different story at the other end.
Things which did not have a home made their way there and stayed, possibly for years.
When my stepmother was planning a surprise birthday party for Dad, he knew something was up when he came in from milking and found the bench cleared.
Apart from the clutter, the thing both my childhood Formica bench and the laminated beige one in my kitchen, circa 1982, have in common is that, as far as I can tell, the cutting of them was unlikely to have caused lifelong illness or death.
The same assurance cannot be given around all the manufactured stone bench tops which have been trendy in recent years.
For years we have known the dangers of silicosis, an occupational disease caused by exposure to significant concentrations of respirable crystalline silica (RCS).
Workers cutting, grinding, or polishing engineered stone can develop accelerated silicosis within 10 years of exposure to RCS in the dust produced because of the product’s generally high amounts of silica compared with natural stone.
Airborne RCS gets trapped in the lungs affecting their ability to absorb oxygen, leading to disability and even death.
In Australia, after years of campaigning by health advocates, trade unions and workers, engineered stone was banned in 2024 and a National Occupational Respiratory Disease Registry set up along with mandatory reporting of silicosis.
The sky has not fallen and people have not been left without flat surfaces for their kitchen and bathroom clutter.
Here, despite reported support for a ban (and other measures) by health advocates, the Council of Trade Unions, the Employers and Manufacturers Association and Minex, the health and safety council for the extraction sector, successive governments have faffed about.
There has been poor detection of silicosis, inadequate enforcement of basic safety guidelines and insufficient data on those likely exposed to RCS.
At the end of 2024 Workplace Relations and Safety Minister Brooke van Velden announced a consultation, through the Ministry of Business Innovation and Employment (MBIE), on engineered stone ‘‘to understand what the industry is currently doing to manage the risks, and whether further regulatory intervention is needed’’.
Although she said she was consulting on all possible regulatory responses, from strengthening current requirements to implementing a full ban, she stated then she did not believe there was evidence to support a full ban.
How she had established that view before any consultation is not clear.
Now it is mid-2026, there has still been no announcement on what might happen next.
Ms van Velden, in response to questions about this, advised it was a complex issue and announced a second round of ‘‘targeted’’ consultation in April 2026 focused ‘‘on the detail of a range of regulatory controls’’.
‘‘Stakeholders raised a complex range of issues.
‘‘MBIE is considering their feedback further in light of workability and a developing evidence base before advising me on its recommended regulatory controls.
‘‘It’s important to get this right, particularly where regulations may have lasting impacts on workers’ health and on businesses.’’
When I asked about what and who the targeted consultation involved, I was directed to MBIE which has yet to respond.
Ms van Velden also assured me since 2019, WorkSafe advised overall, engineered stone businesses had improved management of RCS dust.
Inspectors continued to work with businesses to ensure safe work practices and issue enforcement actions where risks were not being controlled effectively.
But if these ‘‘safe work practices’’ are inadequate, what is the point?
My question to Ms van Velden about when we might expect a decision went unanswered.
Workers whose health may be at risk by this ongoing inertia deserve better.
• Elspeth McLean is a Dunedin writer.
