But a World Cup draw remains a marvellous thing.
In the age of cutting-edge technology, AI and social media fluff, the process to determine which teams end up in which pool at the 2026 Fifa World Cup is delightfully old-school.
There will literally be names of countries printed on pieces of paper that are folded into plastic balls. Selectors then swirl their hands around pots and pick out one ball at a time.
There are now 48 teams — ridiculous, obviously, but worked out great for the All Whites — at the World Cup.
Teams have been split into four pots, based on their Fifa rankings, so the 12 groups for the tournament will be formed by one team being drawn from each pot.
Some All Whites fans will be concerned purely with getting the teams that give their lads the best chance of recording a historic first win at a World Cup.
Others just want big names, star players and cool shirts.
Three Otago Daily Times football fans — sports editor Hayden Meikle, online editor Sean Flaherty and online/sub-editor Jeff Cheshire — make their picks.
Colombia and Fenerbahce forward Jhon Duran.
Pot 1
Canada, Mexico, USA, Spain, Argentina, France, England, Brazil, Portugal, Netherlands, Belgium, Germany.
Meikle: This is like being a kid in a candy shop. Football glamour everywhere. All of these teams — perhaps with the exception of Canada — would be favoured to comfortably beat the All Whites, so it is kind of pointless dreaming of an opponent based on the possibility of getting a result. Brazil (shades of 1982) would be great, and there is always something magical about Dutch oranje. But I am going to be a little boring and choose England. Let’s see if we can stop Harry Kane, make Jude Bellingham pout, and have Chris Wood somehow find a way past the amazing Jordan Pickford.
Flaherty: Argentina will surely wheel out Messi for one last dance, even if that means literally wheeling him out on to the field in a padded chair and tasking defenders with carrying him to the drinks breaks to save his 100-year-old legs. With next-to-zero hope of advancing, the best the All Whites can hope for is a brush with greatness by sharing the field with Lionel and rest of the world champion Albiceleste. An on-field All White-on-All White brawl at the final whistle to secure the great man’s No 10 shirt would be no disgrace.
Cheshire: It has to be England, innit. Brazil have the glamour, France have talent all over, and Argentina and Portugal have Messi and Ronaldo. But my pick is England. There remains such a tie between our countries, and the English Premier League is by far the most followed overseas league in New Zealand. The players are all familiar and really bring that star factor. And while a result is unlikely, Chris Wood knows how to score goals against England defenders and that always gives you a chance.
England and Real Madrid midfielder Jude Bellingham.
Pot 2
Croatia, Morocco, Colombia, Uruguay, Switzerland, Japan, Senegal, Islamic Republic of Iran, Republic of Korea, Ecuador, Austria, Australia.
Meikle: Not Australia. Is Luis Suarez still running around for Uruguay? Always had a soft spot for Colombia at the World Cup. But it has to be Croatia. How cool to have New Zealand involved in the last dance for Croatian immortal Luka Modric.
Flaherty: Colombia are due another breakout star in the fashion of James Rodriguez, who lit up the 2014 World Cup with six goals to win the Golden Boot. Step up Jhon Duran, a fabulously talented long-range sharpshooter with the goods to go supernova on the world stage, secure a massive transfer to a big club then fade into the backwaters of the Turkish league. Plus their fans absolutely rule. Any travelling all Whites supporters would be in for all the party they could handle.
Cheshire: England gives us our glamour game against the giants. Time to plot our way out of the pool — if that is possible. I’m going to take my chances with Iran by a process of elimination. The South American teams’ flair will be a killer. The European teams will be too clinical and battle-hardened from playing at a higher level. Senegal and Morocco have quality and both made it through their pool last time. Australia is a boring option. Japan and Korea probably have a bit more star power for us. So Iran it is. Yes, I know they are 66 places above us on the world rankings, but there are really no easy options here.
Norway and Manchester City striker Erling Haaland.
Pot 3
Norway, Panama, Egypt, Algeria, Scotland, Paraguay, Tunisia, Cote d’Ivoire, Uzbekistan, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, South Africa.
Meikle: You call this the "containing an opponent the All Whites will hopefully beat" pot. South Africa are the lowest ranked nation in the pot at No 61 — the All Whites are 86 — but we play them all the time in rugby. Norway and goal-scoring machine Erling Haaland could be cool. Cote d’Ivoire (Ivory Coast) are usually entertaining. But my pick has to be Scotland. More shades of 1982, and they are going to be a second-favourite team for a lot of people.
Flaherty: Using its limitless tub of sportwashing oil cash, Saudi Arabia has already purchased the sport of boxing while paying Cristiano Ronaldo $NZ1.1 million a day to bring geriatric glamour to its C-grade football league. With the World Cup sitting at the nexus of global geopolitics and sport, the Saudis will not be messing about at this tournament. Expect Fifa president and tight Saudi ally Gianni Infantino to referee all their games and personally oversee the VAR on a private screen guarded by armed mercenaries. To share a group at with them at such an exciting tipping point in the power dynamics of world sport would be nothing short of a privilege.
Cheshire: Norway would indeed be cool from the point of view of playing against Haaland. Not so cool if we want a win. Scotland, like England, will have plenty of ties for people down our way. Qatar and Saudi Arabia are both teams you’d give yourself a chance against. But I like South Africa here. We have such a sporting history with them and it would be cool for that to carry over to football. Definitely a better chance of stealing a result there than the high-flyers in this pot.
Note: Pot 4 contains New Zealand, Jordan, Cabo Verde, Ghana, Curacao, Haiti, four European playoff teams and two intercontinental playoff teams.
