Boy, Danny, you've got it made
Ka-chinggg.
That is the sound of the piles of loot tumbling into Danny Lee's bank account now the Rotorua golfer has turned professional.
Slobber, slobber, drool, drool.
That is the sound of the agents, sponsors, corporates and general blood-suckers lining up for a chunk of the most exciting sportsman to come out of New Zealand in years. (Seriously, apart from Jesse Ryder, who else have we got emerging that sets the pulse racing?)
Lee has been groomed for this life for years and has, as promised, taken the plunge after competing as an amateur at the Masters.
Now we wait.
We wait to see if youthful talent can turn into elite performance.
We wait to see if Lee can add consistency, calmness and a comprehensive putting game to his existing attributes.
And we wait to see if the grind of being a golf professional sits comfortably on the slim shoulders of the next big thing.
It's going to be interesting to watch.
Putting Tiger in perspective
I might have been banging on about it a bit lately but every week there has been a reminder of the greatness of Tiger Woods.
The latest was the release of the official world golf rankings, at the end of the Masters, which reveal Woods is still No 1 in the world and has been for 201 CONSECUTIVE weeks and a staggering 543 weeks total since he turned professional.
Just 12 golfers have been ranked at the top since the system began 23 years ago.
They are: Bernhard Langer (three weeks), Seve Ballesteros (61 weeks), Greg Norman (331 weeks), Nick Faldo (97 weeks), Ian Woosnam (50 weeks), Fred Couples (16 weeks), Nick Price (44 weeks), Tom Lehman (one week), Ernie Els (nine weeks), David Duval (15 weeks), Vijay Singh (32 weeks) and Woods.
A rose by any other name
Former Zimbabwe wicketkeeper-batsman Andy Flower has this week been appointed "team director" of the English cricket team.
What the HELL does that mean? What happened to simply being a coach?
No more onion bag - please
You know him as "Tommy Smyth with a Y" but to Guardian writer Stephen Wells he is "quite possibly the world's most hated sports commentator".
Smyth is the United States-based Irish commentator who has been used by ESPN for years to provide colour, remarkably inaccurate statements and one relentless catchphrase for Champions League games.
I'll let Wells continue the story:"Tommy Smyth `with a Y' has what must be the most annoying catchphrase in commentary history.
And he just won't stop saying it.
During a recent Champions League game Smyth chortled: 'What a bulge of the old onion bag that was from Fergie's men.'"Minutes later, when Manchester United scored again, Smyth quipped: 'And what a bulge in the old onion bag that is for United.'"It's what Smyth says every time a goal is scored.
And he's been saying it for years - the huge ESPN security operation that followed Smyth's Australian death threat was, with grim inevitability, called Operation Onion Bag."
Wells reports a website (nomoreonionbags.com) has been leading the anti-Smyth brigade.
A blogger at the site, on hearing the news ESPN had given up the rights to the Champions League from next season and therefore Smyth's days were likely numbered, wrote: "No longer will Tuesday and Wednesday afternoons be spent in the internal psychological battle of wanting to enjoy the beauty and art of the goal but not knowing how to deal once more with the exceedingly grating faux-Irish ignoramus insulting our intelligence."
Ouch. Makes our chiding of Murray Mexted seem pretty gentle.
Petrolhead in the family, Part Two
Last week I wrote of my interest in learning more about Katrina Meikle, a name appearing regularly in the results of Island Park Speedway.
Midweek I took a call from Barry Meikle - Katrina's father, not my uncle from Oamaru - who filled me in.
Turns out Katrina is 23, a car nut, manager of the Burnside garage, an Otago champion and a speedway devotee since the age of 13. Mystery solved, though Barry couldn't tell me if I appear anywhere in their family tree.
Death by waterfall
What a way to go. Former Oriental and Pacific Boxing Federation flyweight champion Noriyuki Komatsu was found dead after falling from a waterfall, Japanese media reported on Tuesday.
The 29-year-old is believed to have accidentally fallen into the pool below while carrying out ascetic training after visiting a Kyoto temple for meditation courses.
Tickets, please
A judge has ruled Bernard Madoff's New York Mets baseball season tickets may be sold in an online auction, allowing the proceeds to go towards reimbursing the jailed swindler's defrauded customers.
The once-respected money manager and former chairman of the Nasdaq stock market was a fan of the Mets, who play in the New York City borough of Queens, where Madoff grew up.
Madoff's tickets were for two seats in the second row behind home plate at the new Citi Field. They had a face value of about $US80,191.
Madoff pleaded guilty on March 12 to running the biggest investment fraud in Wall Street's history, which prosecutors have said bilked investors out of as much as $US65 billion ($NZ111.89 billion). He is in jail and could be sent to prison for the rest of his life when sentenced in June.
