Sleeping dogs

Well, there I was some months ago minding my own business when what should I hear but the clip clop of little hooves and the rustle of wrapping paper, and a gift horse cantered into my life.

Disappointment is the stuff of life.

With the death of heavy metal frontman and reality TV star Joseph "Bonkers" Bennett, entertainment has lost one of its brightest lights.

On the eve of the Open golf championship, the favourite, Scottie Scheffler, gave a press conference.

He is young, fresh-faced, tall, entrepreneurial and at ease with technology. I’ve christened him My Antithesis. And I’ve hired him.

Did you know that Cyprus once had pygmy hippos?

Budapest. I last came here in the 1980s when Hungary was still ostensibly communist, part of the Warsaw Pact and under the grim governing eye of the Russians.

St Olav Gate in Oslo, and a sleek red bus draws up beside me.

The human mind is a restless thing.

Word of the week — mononymous.

I am waiting for a man to sweep my chimney.

At dusk I set off for a walk.

Since I started writing newspaper columns, three popes have died.

A see-saw consists of opposing halves, one up, one down.

You are driving.

The only advice I’ve received about ageing came from my mother.

"That's an hour of my life I won’t get back," I thought.

What did spiders ever do to us?

Please read this quickly because that’s how I’m writing it, as the electricity is about to be cut off.