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The tutorial torment of the late Mr Smith
Increasingly I think of Mr Smith.
Sleeping dogs
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Cup-winning kitchen gadget gallops in
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Cup-winning kitchen gadget gallops in
Well, there I was some months ago minding my own business when what should I hear but the clip clop of little hooves and the rustle of wrapping paper, and a gift horse cantered into my life.
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Let us down this day with our daily bread
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Let us down this day with our daily bread
Disappointment is the stuff of life.
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Bonkers’ incredible, inevitable stardom
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Bonkers’ incredible, inevitable stardom
With the death of heavy metal frontman and reality TV star Joseph "Bonkers" Bennett, entertainment has lost one of its brightest lights.
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A rare thing: honesty from a pro athlete
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A rare thing: honesty from a pro athlete
On the eve of the Open golf championship, the favourite, Scottie Scheffler, gave a press conference.
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On being dragged into the 21st century
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On being dragged into the 21st century
He is young, fresh-faced, tall, entrepreneurial and at ease with technology. I’ve christened him My Antithesis. And I’ve hired him.
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Of trade, empires and pygmy hippos
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Of trade, empires and pygmy hippos
Did you know that Cyprus once had pygmy hippos?
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Hungry for answers in a Budapest hotel
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Hungry for answers in a Budapest hotel
Budapest. I last came here in the 1980s when Hungary was still ostensibly communist, part of the Warsaw Pact and under the grim governing eye of the Russians.
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Avoid the bus to hellfire and damnation
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Avoid the bus to hellfire and damnation
St Olav Gate in Oslo, and a sleek red bus draws up beside me.
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Arrivederci to the IFP’s rescue canine
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Arrivederci to the IFP’s rescue canine
The human mind is a restless thing.
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Tree won’t win any poplar’arity contests
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Tree won’t win any poplar’arity contests
Poplar. It’s not much of a name for a tree. It sounds cheap and insubstantial - poplar music, poplar taste.
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Musings by someone not known as Joe
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Musings by someone not known as Joe
Word of the week — mononymous.
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Being swept away into some ‘time torn off’
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Being swept away into some ‘time torn off’
I am waiting for a man to sweep my chimney.
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To think that I saw it on Canterbury St
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To think that I saw it on Canterbury St
At dusk I set off for a walk.
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The next papacy is not going to the dogs
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The next papacy is not going to the dogs
Since I started writing newspaper columns, three popes have died.
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Little choice in a barrel of rotten apples
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Little choice in a barrel of rotten apples
A see-saw consists of opposing halves, one up, one down.
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The driving imperative of basic courtesy
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The driving imperative of basic courtesy
You are driving.
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Dire warnings about reaching 80 years
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Dire warnings about reaching 80 years
The only advice I’ve received about ageing came from my mother.
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Progress is driving me to Jesus this hour
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Progress is driving me to Jesus this hour
"That's an hour of my life I won’t get back," I thought.
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A visceral encounter with a local attercop
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A visceral encounter with a local attercop
What did spiders ever do to us?