There is one thing that has turned the world into an almost unlivable cesspit of fear and tongue-tied terror; it is the fading glamour of speaking specious nonsense to complete strangers in public.
February. Two things. School is back, so summer leaps from the dark cupboard under the stairs and romps on empty beaches. And the Oscars.
Otago players from the late 1960s and early 1970s golden era will form a significant presence at the world veterans championships in Auckland in May.
It is fair to say rational thinkers were terribly miffed when details were revealed that the mesmerising TV adventure series Man vs Wild had a bit of trickery going on.
The genius gonzo journalist Hunter Thompson reportedly typed out The Great Gatsby more than once to try to osmotically absorb that book's wondrous language and rhythm.
A friend mentioned to me recently she had never seen any of the Lord Of The Rings movies. Not very patriotic, she said.
It's the thought that counts. This piece of gobbledygook has been used for centuries to excuse miserly spending at Christmas.
In the days before Google, when encyclopaediae poured down the pipe like Cadbury chocolates, way before their current status as the most unwanted and heaviest thing at the Regent Theatre Book Sale, there were two leaders of the pack - the Encyclopaedia Britannica and Arthur Mee's Children's Encyclopaedia.
New Year's Resolutions are a bit silly.
A close friend, let's just call her Erasmus, suggested coffee last Wednesday afternoon.
Lou Reed stories from his three mid-'70s New Zealand tours have been pouring out of the woodwork like backwards borer since his death. Let me exhume mine.
The recently discovered letters from Oscar Wilde to Cameron Diaz have thrown up some real humdingers.
A friend who regularly gob-smittens me with brain and high wit found herself struggling with stammer recently when the talk turned to Dunedin music.
I swore on my dog's grave that I would never write a word about the America's Cup, but most rational thinkers would agree some bad decisions were made on board as 8-1 turned into 8-9.
Oscar Wilde once wrote, and I am paraphrasing, if a man ever has two earth-shattering Rachel Hunter experiences in the one weekend, then he is the luckiest man alive.
The news Otago University has been inexplicably relegated 22 places to 155 in the World's Top 500 Universities list was released on the same day I attended my first university lecture since 1969.
Coronation Street has normally been worth two columns a year, I make no bones about that, but this year it's been largely bollocks.
It was back in hospital last week for another life-threatening operation, this one at least below the waist, only scar tissue now remaining above.
Trevor Wheeler died the Sunday before last.