"Germs and sperms don't know how old you are."
That is one of the blunt statements Dunedin Family Planning educator Sarah Loftus uses to get across the message that women looking for love in their 40s and beyond can fall into the same traps as teenagers, running the risk of sexually transmitted infections and even unwanted pregnancies.
People tended to think that sexual health teaching was only necessary for younger people, but that was not the case.
Family Planning, with Ministry of Health funding, has produced a new booklet called Upd@te Me aimed at heterosexual women aged over 40 who are getting back into dating and relationships.
Its topics include deciding what you want in a relationship, Internet dating, sexual etiquette, emotional baggage, falling in love, safe sex, deciding if a relationship is healthy, and breaking up.
Ms Loftus said it was felt there was a demand for this type of information booklet, which will be available from Family Planning, doctors' surgeries and sexual health clinics.
One of the concerns was that people in the over-40 age group, who had not had the same safe sex education as younger people, were becoming a "a bit over-represented" in sexually transmitted infection (STI) rates.
Many of the messages were similar to those aimed at teenagers, because often those in the older age group, when they fell in love or developed a crush, behaved just like their teen counterparts.
Dunedin Sexual Health Clinic's clinical leader Dr Jill McIlraith, agreed.
"Just because you are older doesn't mean you automatically get wiser."Teenagers and older women who thought sexually transmitted diseases or unplanned pregnancies would not happen to them often used phrases such as "It won't happen if I have sex once", or "He was a nice man".
People were very selective about how they perceived risk - "I don't think middle age protects us from that warped perception."
She saw the book's production as timely and useful, although some women might not want to think it applied to them.
While the risk of pregnancy decreased from the age of 30, sexually active women should not regard themselves as safe from pregnancy until they had gone at least a year, and some would advise two years, without periods, she said.
Reported cases of chlamydia infections, which can cause infertility, have been increasing dramatically in Dunedin, with the sexual health clinic rates showing an increase of 138% over five years.
Numbers were likely to be much higher because people could be infected without being aware of it.
Syphilis was an STI people had regarded as a thing of the past, but it had also been on the increase in New Zealand in recent years and the average age of those with it was 37.
HIV infection rates had also increased in 40 to 49-year-old heterosexual women.
Dr McIlraith had been an advocate of putting condoms in teenagers' Christmas stockings, but if Mum or Granny were changing partners perhaps the family could buy them some too.
Relationship advice:
Before starting a new relationship, prepare yourself physically and emotionally, New Zealand Family Planning's Upd@te Me booklet suggests.
•Get a sexual health warrant of fitness from a family planning clinic, your GP or sexual health service.
•Think about what you want from a relationship.
•Make a list of qualities you would like in a new partner.
•Prioritise the top four or five.
•Decide what would be unacceptable in a new partner.
•Consider the qualities you bring to a new relationship.
•Over 40s women outnumber men in Otago.
