MONDAY
Home late. The porch light had blown and in the dark I kicked over a terracotta pot on the back step.
"F#^!!!@*&#%K!"
I knelt down and felt for the pot with my hands. I cut myself on a jagged shard, and my phone fell out of my breast pocket onto the concrete. It didn’t have far to drop so I wasn’t too worried the screen might be broken. I found the plant and tipped it back into the bottom of the terracotta, and put it beside the hose. It would live.
There was a note on the kitchen table saying there was a slice of shepherd's pie in the fridge with mashed potato and peas.
I took it out and sat at the table. I didn’t have the energy to heat it up in the microwave. Shepherd's pie is good cold, anyway, and I was hungry.
I didn't have the energy to get cutlery, either, so I sat the table in the dark and ate the pie with my fingers. I licked them clean afterwards and realised they were covered in dirt and blood.
"F#^!!!@*&#%K!"
I poured a glass and sat down again to check my phone. It wasn't something I was looking forward to and didn't even expect many texts or emails. It had gone quiet since last week. Very, very quiet. One day it's buzzing all day with promises, and declarations of support; the next day, it's just an embarrassed silence, the end result of a coup that dared not speak its name.
The screen had smashed.
"F#^!!!@*&#%K!"
TUESDAY
Ran into Luxon in the staff kitchen. I was waiting for the microwave to ping so I could take out my sausage roll and eat it in my office with a nice hot cup of tea, and roll up my sleeves on important policy work.
"Gidday Bish," he said, with a smirk.
I gave him the eyebrows. No need to say anything. Just stay cool. Establish a moral superiority.
We stood there and watched the microwave clock count down the seconds.
"Taking a while, isn't it," he said. "Tell you what. I'm in a hurry. You mind?"
He opened the microwave, took out my sausage roll, and put in two Cheese Kransky's. My neck began to redden.
He leaned against the kitchen cupboards and gave me the eyebrows.
WEDNESDAY
Worked hard all day and night on a sweeping overhaul of New Zealand's planning law reforms with the potential to have an impact on economic growth.
It’s this kind of selfless work that marks the worth and contribution of a politician.
THURSDAY
Willis poked her head in the door of my office this afternoon.
"How are those reforms going," she asked.
"Good."
I kept working and didn't look up.
"Well," she said, "Merry Xmas."
"Merry Xmas." She sent an emoji of some flowers in the evening. But it's too late for an olive branch. She picked her side last week.
FRIDAY
Home late. Poured myself a glass and thought about New Zealand's future. Things are looking up. I am making great progress on a sweeping overhaul of our planning law reforms with the potential to have a big impact on my popularity and standing within the party when the next poll inevitably delivers more terrible results for Luxon, and another coup is staged.
Fossicked around to see if there were any leftovers for dinner but the fridge was empty. All good. Poured another glass, and lit a cigarette, smoking and drinking in the dark. Merry Xmas!
