Arrowtown book buyer Miranda Spary continues her regular column about her recommendations for a good read and life as she sees it . . .
Do you feel more Christmassy when the petrol station puts up some plastic reindeer, or you find holly-patterned loo paper in someone's bathroom?
Even the Christmas card from a real estate company, addressed to "The Householder" failed to get me panting with festive frenzy.
As I haven't even started my own Christmas shopping, it is a bit hypocritical of me to be suggesting books that will make your Christmas shopping easier, but I am much better at giving advice than doing anything useful myself.
I got loads of suggestions from you all on books to please even the most irksome of mothers-in-law, but I am only going to list the ones I really enjoyed or this column will be a mile long.
And I think giving Modern Witchcraft might make for a tense Christmas Day, but if you really feel that brave, Sally, just go for it!
84 Charing Cross Road (Virago, $35) is a stunning new edition.
A really elegant jacket wrapping up an all-time favourite. I hope someone gives it to me.
Written as an exchange of letters between a New York book collector and a London second-hand bookshop, it is a total delight.
Another novel written as a series of letters which a fussy mother-in-law (or MIL) would enjoy is Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society (Allen and Unwin, $35).
I won't tell you who suggested The Female Brain (Bantam, $22), but it is a totally fascinating poke around in this most mysterious of places.
However, a snippety MIL might think you are suggesting ways she can deal with her bitchiest behaviour.
It should be compulsory reading for all women.
It also tells you a bit about what is going on in the male brain at the same stages (more than most women might think . . . )
The next category is short books, which definitely have huge appeal.
I would share The Boy in Striped Pyjamas (Random House, $22) with keen teenage readers as well.
It is being made into a film for release next year.
My other short favourites are An Uncommon Reader (Profile, $22) when the Queen discovers the joys of the mobile library, tear-jerking Oscar and the Lady in Pink (Atlantic, $25), and Marguerite Duras' exquisite The Lover (Flamingo, $26).
Strumpets? A strange category, but everyone loves a good strumpet.
The Bolter (Virago, $38) is the one whose heroine was said to have responded to the claim that she stole other womens' husbands, by saying: "Nonsense, however, if some wives are careless enough to leave them lying around unattended, then that is quite a different matter."
This strumpet's great-niece has written a terrific history of her five-times married very naughty relation.
And, of course, the hard-to-tie-down Jane Digby, in A Scandalous Life (4th Estate, $25), was a super-strumpet who scandalised Georgian England with her not very uptight ways.
Teenage boys are one of the hardest categories to shop for and I love it when I find books they and their parents can all enjoy.
Try Q and A (Random House, $27) about the Indian street kid who wins a big TV quiz and then has to prove in court how he knew the answers.
It is hugely enjoyable and unpredictable.
Sirens of Baghdad (Vintage, $28) is almost too black and depressing for my taste, but I still couldn't stop reading.
If you ever wondered what makes someone want to be a suicide bomber, I think this novel will answer your question.
And for teenage boys who are about to leave school, give them Rough Guide's World Party ($45), which lists all the best carnivals and celebrations around the globe.
I am only about a third of the way through my list so I will keep going next week.
The categories next week are Big Readers, Husbands, Children's Books for Adults, Food, and Books about Here.
Do please send me any suggestions.
I am off to Brian Turner's book launch today and I am ashamed to say I had been putting off reading my review copy as I thought it might be just about sport and fishing, but it's not.
It is a little bit about important things like wasting time and ingrown toenails and a big bit about enjoying life and what we already have at our disposal and why learning not to need more all the time is really important.
It is funny and fabulous and familiar and only a little bit boring about fishing.
I have just been told that lots of people like fishing, so they will probably not be so bored by those bits.
And lastly, if you are feeling really stuck choosing books, you can email me on miranda@queenstown.co.nz and organise a time to meet up at Dorothy Browns in Arrowtown.
