Noodles - they masquerade as a meal but leave you feeling ripped off.
That is what yesterday's one-day international in Dunedin felt a bit like. It just was not a contest which captured the imagination.
The Black Caps arrived at 248 rather than reaching that total.
Their innings never hit any lofty heights.
Regardless, the target was too steep for Zimbabwe. The visitors slumped to be all out for 158 to hand the home team a 90-run win at the University Oval.
Black Caps captain Brendon McCullum gave his side's performance a pass mark but was not entirely convinced by his argument.
"There were a few rough edges," he acknowledged.
"Every time we thought we were getting a partnership together and we could have accelerated, it was about then that we'd lose a wicket. So it was hard to execute some of our tactics.
"But to score 250 on that sort of wicket and restrict them to 160 - we have to be happy with that.
Black Caps opener Martin Guptill starred with 70 and combined in an 88-run stand with Kane Williamson (35) to help his side recover from a start of four for two. Rob Nicol took four for 19, and Kyle Mills three for 26 to help seal the victory.
Zimbabwe captain Brendan Taylor did his best to rescue his side from three for 15 with a promising innings of 58. He hit the game's only six when he hoisted Rob Nicol over the grandstand - a massive hit of at least 100m - but promptly hit out the next delivery.
Andrew Ellis, on debut, took a tumbling catch above his head on the long-off boundary, although he almost misjudged it in the wind and got up looking a tad sheepish.
With Taylor and Tatenda Taibu both in the shed, Zimbabwe's prospects looked bleak.
It is not a side with great batting depth.
Malcolm Waller went back when he should have gone forward - lbw. Elton Chigumbura hit a crisp drive directly back to the bowler.
Shingirai Masakadza got an edge.
And the tail - not much to add really, although Ray Price managed to hold out to post a stubborn 26.
Zimbabwe's performance does not bode well for the remainder of the series and the Black Caps were not exactly at their best, either.
Nicol chased a delivery from Keegan Meth and got a healthy edge through to first slip in the game's opening over.
McCullum shouldered arms moments later to a superb delivery from Kyle Jarvis, which nipped back off the seam.
Williamson helped ease the nerves in the dressing room with a beautifully timed on-drive for four.
Guptill, who was in magnificent form during the HRV Cup, lofted a shot down the ground and looked to have plenty of time at the crease.
He needed a little luck early when an inside edge found the gap between the keeper and slip.
But he got the scoreboard moving, picking off Meth for a brace of boundaries in the seventh over and then chipping Jarvis to midwicket for a four.
Williamson played and missed his share and, on 20, survived a chance down leg.
Replays suggested he got a glove on Chigumbura's first delivery.
Zimbabwe did not opt for a review.
Williamson eventually spooned a catch to Masakadza, who dived forward and scooped up the ball centimetres above the grass.
That brought 19-year-old debutant Tom Latham to the wicket.
His father, former international Rod Latham, watched nervously from his spot in the crowd, willing his son on. He pumped his fist when Tom drove the eighth delivery he faced in international cricket to the cover boundary to register his first runs.
With Guptill at the crease, New Zealand appeared to be building nicely. He brought up 50 from 44 but inexplicably missed a straight delivery.
Latham's debut ended shortly after on 24 and Dean Brownlie, who was making his one-day debut, threatened but was brilliantly run out by Regis Chakabva on 19.
Nathan McCullum (30) and Ellis (33) added a valuable 57 for the seventh wicket to help dig their side out of a tricky spot. But the both perished heaving across the line with Masakadza the beneficiary.
He finished with four for 46, with Jarvis and Chigumbura picking up two wickets apiece.
