Is ''North Islandisation'' a thing? Well, I'm going to use it in a sentence.
It is extremely sad that the rampant North Islandisation of sectors of New Zealand sport is not causing more of an outrage in the South.
For example, both New Zealand hockey and New Zealand basketball have a handful of home internationals this year.
The Tall Blacks are to play South Korea in a hugely important series to prepare for the world championships.
The venues? Wellington, Tauranga and Auckland.
In hockey, the Black Sticks men played Japan in a three-test series in Tauranga, and the women have an upcoming series against China in Taupo.
But get this for a statistic: the past FIFTY Black Sticks women's tests played in New Zealand have been in the North Island, and the past 30 men's tests have been in the North Island.
The South Island has not seen the Black Sticks since 2009. Dunedin has not hosted the women since 2007, the men since 2001.
And that is an absolute disgrace.
... the South
It doesn't stop there, of course.
The Indian cricket team was in New Zealand this summer and did not even have to set foot in the South Island.
Athletics is getting to a point where all of its major events are scheduled in the North Island, and cricket decided to hold the HRV Cup finals in Hamilton regardless of which teams qualified.
We joke about Aucklanders not realising there is anything south of the Bombays, but it is becoming a frightening reality.
Rise up, sports fans. Lobby your national organisations to give the South a fair go.
Hit parade
I have a question.
When did the word ''tackle'' cease to exist in rugby?Here's another one.
Why has that word been replaced by ''hit''?And one more.
Do you think it might be time, given all the stories about serious damage being done to heads and brains and memories, to stop calling them ''hits'' and resume calling them ''tackles''?
A cunning plan
Ridiculously excited to see Sir Tony Robinson - Baldrick - on the front page of my newspaper this week.
I can recite plenty of Baldrick lines, and his greatest poem (''The German Guns'': Boom boom boom boom, boom boom boom, boom boom boom boom, boom boom boom.), but I could not immediately think of a reason to mention him in the sports pages.
Wikipedia says he is a fan of the Bristol City football team, so that will have to do.
Go you mighty Robins!
Ladies last
Golf is a wonderful sport but, sadly, it is also among the slowest to embrace change.
Witness the Royal & Ancient Golf Club, the sport's father (and mother), based at St Andrews for 260 years.
It will finally vote in September on whether women can join the club.
''It's an exciting day for the club,'' R&A secretary Peter Dawson said.
''There will be quite a bit of internal discussion between now and the September vote. It's a matter for the members to determine. All indications are very supportive.''
Incredibly, other leading British courses such as Royal St. George's, Royal Troon and Muirfield still exclude women.
Tigers show claws
There was a really interesting news snippet in Major League Baseball this week that highlighted the occasional gulf between teams and players in that sport.
Frustrated over star pitcher Max Scherzer's reluctance to sign a lucrative new contract, the Detroit Tigers made a public statement that, in boxing parlance, ''called him out''.
''The Detroit Tigers have made a substantial, long-term contract extension offer to Max Scherzer that would have placed him among the highest-paid pitchers in baseball, and the offer was rejected,'' the team said in a statement.
The Tigers went on to declare there would be ''no further in-season negotiation'' with Scherzer, who is apparently on $US15.25 million a year ($NZ17.6 million), and must have been offered a sickening amount of money.
I found this fascinating, if only because it was in such contrast to how things happen in this part of the world.
Here, professional sporting organisations go to great lengths to protect their players. They NEVER say anything about contract negotiations, they cover up off-field indiscretions as much as possible, and they simply cut off access to the media when the going gets tough.
United they stand
There have also been some interesting rumblings in college sport this week.
For those who don't know, American college sport is not remotely like university sport in this country.
It is a massive business. Eye-wateringly huge. The major schools earn hundreds of millions of dollars from their football and basketball teams.
It's also slavery, basically. The coaches and the colleges can make loads of money, but the athletes get suspended if they accept a free shirt.
That could be about to change. Reuters reported the US Government announced on Thursday that football players at Northwestern University who got scholarship money were ''effectively school employees, and could vote on organising what could become the first labour union for American college athletes''.
This is going to be fascinating to watch in the coming months.
Full house
The Last Word wishes the folks at Otago softball all the best this weekend as they celebrate their 75th jubilee.
I was put off playing the game by an older brother with a rocket arm and a penchant for making his younger sibling bawl, but the game retains a special place in my heart.
Softball, as much as any code, has suffered over the past 20 years. It struggles to hold on to players, or recruit new ones. Funding is always an issue. Volunteers aren't as thick on the ground.
But they're good buggers, softballers. Positive types. And they are guided by Jill Johnson, one of the great sports administrators in this province.
Here's to a good weekend at Ellis Park.
Kids encouraged
Bravo to the New Zealand Sports Hall of Fame, which has announced children as part of an organised group will henceforth get free admission.
That is a smart and extremely simple way to get more youngsters through the doors at the Hall's fantastic base at the Dunedin Railway Station.
Charges for older folk have gone up - by $1 - but are still ridiculously reasonable at $6 (adults) and $4 (seniors and students).
If I've written it once, I've written it 1000 times: get down to the Hall of Fame for a look. You will not regret it.
Side note: Perhaps some other organisations should look at more deals where the kids get in free. Huh? Huh?
Keen lads
By the looks of the sports draw this week, a visiting Australian rugby team is going to have a very busy weekend.
The St Edmund's under-15 side appears to be playing Otago Boys' High School (in Dunedin) today, South Otago High School (Balclutha) tomorrow, and Kavanagh College (Dunedin) on Monday.
Have a good trip, lads. You'll need a break after the weekend.
Enough's enough
We have a new contender for the absolute worst nickname in professional sport.
One of the nine teams in the new Australian provincial rugby competition - wait, the Aussies are trying to get one of those going again? - is to be known as the Melbourne Rising.
Yes, the Melbourne Rising.
The. Melbourne. Rising.
Bleccchhh.
Birthday of the week
American baseball great Cy Young would have been 147 today.
Young, who lends his name to the awards handed out to the premier MLB pitchers every season, still holds records for the most wins (511) and most innings pitched (7355).
The great thing about old-time baseball is the variety of team nicknames. Young played for the Cleveland Spiders, the St Louis Perfectos, the Cleveland Naps and the Boston Rustlers.
Now THOSE are some great nicknames. The Melbourne Rising, I mean, really.
