Sometimes you just have to do something for yourself. You never know — it could make you a Paralympic champion.
As Anna Grimaldi came around the bend of the track, the Dunedin Paralympian glanced up at the big screen and saw her dream was in reach.
With a soldout Stade de France stadium cheering her on, Grimaldi went into the zone — a trance, as she calls it — focusing on her thoughts, breathing and footsteps as she powered towards the finish line.
Crossing the line with her arms stretched out in the air, Grimaldi came back to reality, hearing the deafening noise of the crowd roaring as she was crowned the 200m champion.
It was the race of her life, finishing in 24.72sec to set a T47 Oceania record, and one that is still settling in as another first in her career.
"It’s been really fun," Grimaldi told the Otago Daily Times as she reflected on her Paris heroics.
"I just thought I’d never have that opportunity to experience a first gold medal again, or first success, because it’s such a special time.
"Not knowing, or not feeling like you could, and then it happening — it’s that shock and joy. You can’t replicate it when you’ve done it once before.
"I just didn’t think that would be a thing for me any more."
It has been a whirlwind time reflecting on that moment for Grimaldi, who had hardly raced the 200m since a stress fracture in her foot during the 200m heat at the world championships in 2017 threatened to curtail her career.
It was a traumatic injury she associated with the distance — which, looking back, she admits was not fair — and she opted to remove the event from her programme.
Grimaldi, whose previous 200m best at a major event was fifth at the world championships in 2015, has spoken openly about feeling like an imposter after being a double long jump champion at Rio and Tokyo.
Winning her first gold on the track had been a good reminder to her younger self, who dealt with confidence issues and pushed to prove that she was worthy, that she deserved all her accolades.
"It was kind of like, ‘well we’re past that now. We do things because we want to do them, not because we feel like we should’.
"You know what you are strong, you are powerful, you can do hard things, you have done the work to resurrect ... what was sort of a weaker state or things that were holding me back.
"The 200m was just an event for me."
Just over 24 hours before her gold in Paris, Grimaldi placed fourth in the long jump.
It was not the finish the 27-year-old envisioned, and while she was "a bit sad" she was not able to show her full capability, she was still proud.
"It just didn’t happen on the day, which is so rough because it’s what people remember about the last year.
"I’m still a great long jumper just because that one day didn’t go right."
Grimaldi suffered bilateral fibula stress fracture reactions late last year, which threw a "spanner in the works" as she prepared for the Paralympics.
It meant she did not have the consistency, or preparation, she desired, and she focused more on running, a decision she stands by to help the long jump, even if it did not pan out how she thought.
"I think deep down we knew the running was going to be big. We just probably didn’t know how big."
Being able to tell reporters immediately after the event she was "really proud of Anna" — not just the athlete, but the person — showed how far Grimaldi has come in knowing her worth is not determined by the colour of a medal.
"That’s been the biggest thing throughout this cycle and I think that’s what allowed me to be able to focus on the running as well.
"If I’d had been still ... putting a lot of me, or who I was, on those two golds, ... I probably wouldn’t have allowed to venture off that path."
After the long jump, Grimaldi gave herself the freedom to do what felt right for her, spending time with her partner, Australian Paralympian Jaryd Clifford, and relaxing on her own.
While there were a few tears, she did not want to "brush it under the carpet" but separated the long jump from her upcoming track event.
"They’re all their own clean slate events.
"Just because I did not do that great in the long jump doesn’t mean I was going to run slowly in the 200m."
That confidence to back herself to know what she needed had been "eye-opening", even as she reflected on it while travelling around Europe after the Games.
"I was waiting for this huge wave or disappointment, or to feel like a failure, and to have felt like I let everyone down — but that never came.
"That worried me in processing even while I was on holiday. I was like, ‘I’m not processing it properly ... this is going to hit soon’ and then going ‘well, actually it’s not’.
"Maybe you don’t feel like you’ve let everyone down, you don’t feel like that event was a failure, maybe you are really proud of how it went.
"That was probably a shock to the system, because I can only imagine that it wouldn’t have been like that after Tokyo had that happened.
"I think I would have really struggled."
Among it all, it is easy to forget Grimaldi started her Paralympics off with a bang, winning bronze in the 100m in the opening week.
It marked her first Paralympic track medal with personal bests in the heat and final to set an Oceania record of 12.20sec.
Ranked fourth heading into the final, Grimaldi never expected to reach the podium, but it was a lovely surprise.
"That was really exciting. I’m super proud."
Ahead of the race, she was unsure what shape she was in for the track events, but as soon as she crossed the finish line, her confidence grew for the rest of the Games.
Paris showed the depth that had come into her classification and the progress the sport had made.
In Rio, Grimaldi finished fourth in the 100m with a time of 12.96sec and she said she very nearly could have finished fourth in Paris, even running 0.76sec faster.
Progression in Paralympic sport has been big, and while Grimaldi, who was also the opening ceremony flag bearer, read reports of the New Zealand Paralympic team under-performing, she disagreed, saying the rest of the world was catching up.
"They’re pumping in money and there’s just more people.
"That’s what we want, every Games, there to be hundreds of Paralympic records because we want it to just keep progressing.
"I’m super proud to know that we were sort of part of that. We pushed it on and we took it to the rest of the world and they’ve sort of come with us."
Looking back on Paris, there are a few immediate thoughts that come to Grimaldi’s mind.
She was proud of her performances, proud of her medals, proud of enjoying every moment and proud of the resilience over the last three years to get there.
All the risks she took paid off and helped her already look ahead at what could be in store for the future.
It was a future that looked murky after Tokyo.
"Immediately after the Games, even though I went on holiday — and a break was really needed — just the fact that I was excited to continue on to LA and keep training, and have discussions about it was so different to that after Tokyo.
"I was really kind of like, ‘I guess I’ll do another cycle. People do three Games, I guess I’ll do it’.
"It’s so scary to think if I had decided after Tokyo I’m done. I’m not enjoying this any more — I wasn’t — then we might not be here and also wouldn’t be looking at doing another cycle.
"I guess just happy and proud that we got to a point where we started really enjoying running, and jumping, and making the most of it. I think that’s what I’m most proud of."
Part of the "we" Grimaldi talks of is her coach, Michael Jacobs, who is also a strength and conditioning coach for High Performance New Zealand in Dunedin.
Jacobs took over as Grimaldi’s coach two years ago, and while it had been risky, it was the right decision and Paris proved that.
"Mikey’s been fantastic," Grimaldi said.
"He’s really on the same page on how we want to do things and what we want to achieve. I think that shows how well we work together and worked together in Paris.
She was "super grateful" to have great people in Dunedin.
"Being able to stay home and be able to do this job with the people I think truly are the best in the world, I wouldn’t want to go anywhere else.
"It’s pretty special. We’re really lucky."
Travelling around Europe for the past few months gave Grimaldi a well-deserved break and a chance to spend quality time with her family, friends and partner along the way.
But it had been just as nice to return home and share her triumph with her local community over the past few weeks.
"I could feel how much every one was behind me over there . . . Dunedin and Otago have been such a major supporter of me.
"It’s been really cool to be able to share it a bit more.
"I saw all of the messages, all of the comments and I was blown away by the support, especially after the long jump.
"Then after the 200m I just got some of the kindest messages I’ve ever got before."
Grimaldi, who heads to Melbourne next week to spend Christmas with her partner, is slowly getting back in to training and taking her time to decide what the events she will focus on for the next few years.
She did not want to rush her decision based on emotions, but planned to just focus on the track for the upcoming domestic season to give her body a break from long jump.
Grimaldi, who also won long jump silver and 100m bronze at the world championships in May, will compete in a few events throughout the season — Clifford is also heading to New Zealand for the domestic season — and is locked in for the national championships in Dunedin.
"I’m really excited for nationals here."
But she was there was no doubt in her mind she was keen to keep going towards LA.
"I think that’s been the coolest part. It’s so different to the end of the last cycle.
"I thought Paris would be my last, for sure. I thought we’d be having the conversation after the long jump and I would have gone, I’m retiring, kind of vibes.
"It’s a new lease — it’s a new chapter that I’m sure excited for."
