From the bottom up

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Constructing a building well can make for some impressive results if it’s done properly, writes Jan Aitken.

Some buildings last for centuries, withstanding the demands of the elements and the test of time. They can be massive or modest, commercial or residential, practical or fanciful. Buildings that last for long periods of time, despite their differences in size or use, all have one thing in common: strong foundations.

Life is not dissimilar. Having a strong personal foundation can set us up to be resilient to the demands, stresses and everyday wear and tear of life. It can help us enjoy the good times and negotiate the more difficult times a little more easily. Having a strong personal foundation is fundamental to living a stable and fulfilling life.

Once each month during 2017 we’ll take a look at a different aspect of personal foundation. By the end of the year, if you follow along and work through the programme you’ll be well on the way to having built a strong and solid base for the rest of your life!

For February we’re going to start with "tolerations". What do I mean by tolerations? These are the things we put up with every day that drain our energy and distract us from more important things. They are literally annoyances that we learn to tolerate — the little things that make us sigh or drop our shoulders when we see them.

Imagine a container of water, say a 1-litre plastic bottle. The water is the physical and mental energy you have. The water level will fall and rise with everyday occurrences but, on the whole, the aim is to have your bottle as full as possible. Tolerations are like nails that put a hole in your bottle — your energy drains with each little hole. The more tolerations in your life the faster your energy drains. If you don’t stop to fix and remove the tolerations it becomes a constant and tiring battle to stay energised for the things you want to do. Tolerations can hold you back from achieving what you really want in life. By handling and removing them you free up time and energy to devote to the things you want to focus on.

To get an idea of what I mean, let’s take a look at what might be some common tolerations. They don’t need to be big things, often they’re not, they’re just small but annoying.

Here’s a few examples: the pile of ironing in the corner that sits there all week, the emails piling up that need answered, a sink full of dirty dishes, living in a flat that you hate, spilt food on the carpet, a messy wardrobe where everything is a jumble, a one-way friendship that’s not fulfilling you, an untidy desk or workspace, a dead-end job that is slowly grinding you into the ground, the overgrown garden or a room that needs to be repainted.

What is a toleration for one person may not be for another. The key is whether or not it annoys you and drains your energy.

We have learned how to tolerate a lot. We put up with, accept, take on, and are dragged down by our own and other people’s behaviour, situations, unmet needs, crossed boundaries, unfinished business, frustrations and problems. So what are you tolerating? Take a couple of minutes to write a list of things you are tolerating. As you think of more items, add them. Just becoming aware of and articulating them will bring them to the forefront of your mind and you’ll want to start resolving these tolerations.

- Jan Aitken is a Dunedin-based life coach.

For more go to www.fitforlifecoaches.co.nz.

Twitter:@jan—aitken