Times may have changed, but the need by children for a grandparent in their lives hasn’t, writes Ian Munro.
Next week I’m heading across the Tasman. Purpose? To spoil our grandchildren.
Grandparents used to be a constant in a child’s life, living their quaint life nearby in their quaint home.
For many, a version of this is still the case, but for many more the 21st century offers up a different sort of relationship.
In the past 50 or so years everyone has become more mobile and either or both parties have left town for work, travel or retirement.
I’ve mentioned before some mock advertisements for grandparents that went something like this: "Help wanted. Tree hut needs finishing. Dad too busy. Would suit a grandpa with own hammer. Hair and teeth optional."
Or, "Philosophical discussion opportunity. Themes include: Is God married? Why are sunsets red? Were dinosaurs around when you were young? How do they get toothpaste inside the tube? Successful applicant must have the answer to everything, unlimited chat time, a good sense of humour and be willing to read the same story over and over. Please phone Tim before bedtime."
And that sums up the job description pretty well.
Times may have changed, but the need by children for a grandparent in their lives hasn’t.
There’s nothing better for children than to have someone who loves them just because they exist.
Grandparents are probably the only people who’ll wait for and laugh heartily at the unfunny punch line to a long-winded joke.
And, because they are "so old", they have all sorts of interesting tales about life before the internet, when posties blew whistles and bread was delivered.
They can give the lowdown on Mum or Dad, and usually have the photographic evidence.
In many ways, it is the role of the grandparent to "spoil" the grandchild.
You don’t have to train and discipline them or nag about homework and you can listen to moans about home without having to do anything about it.
So this is my approach when I visit:
• I support Mum and Dad with their house rules, then carefully choose how to spoil the children rotten.
• I spoil their parents a bit, too.
• I’ll offer to babysit, pay for gym lessons and time the visit so I can have the children to myself during some of the school holidays.
• I attend special events, usually school ones, and also ballet, gym and swimming lessons.
• I do child things with them such as going up and down on the escalator half a dozen times, kicking a ball around in the park and paddling in the sea eating an ice-cream.
It’s the groundwork you do when they’re young that means the relationship with adolescent grandchildren is likely to continue to be tremendously rewarding.
