When 26-year-old Michael Fraser tried to rape their daughter in April 2022, the Dunedin parents of the victim could barely speak to her for fear of jeopardising a trial.
When Fraser showed up at the gym, the seething father had to grit his teeth and walk out.
At sentencing, when the defence lawyer discussed his client’s struggles with autism, they had to bite their tongues.
When Fraser’s appeal was granted last week and he was released from prison to serve the remainder of his sentence on home detention, they were staggered.
Within days, the man who abused their daughter had activated an account on at least one dating app, sparking an urgent application from Corrections to impose extra restrictions on his freedom.
Jake and Alana (not their real names) now want their say.
"We’re just sick of hearing about Michael Fraser ... no-one hears what goes on in the background with the family," Jake said.
The parents have watched their daughter crushed at every turn, regaining her confidence only to be toppled by the next chapter in the legal saga.
"She’s an incredibly strong girl but you can see now it’s exhausted her," Jake said.
"In the last couple of weeks she’s just got nothing left. It just doesn’t go away ... Some days she’s so deflated."
It was Alana who first heard about her daughter’s ordeal.
She had gone back to Fraser’s home where, during sex, he first slapped her, then throttled her for up to 20 seconds — neither of which she consented to.
When she said she wanted to leave, he closed the door and subjected her to prolonged and determined attempts to part her legs.
The bruising was later captured by a police photographer and an internal camera was used to document the damage to the victim’s throat.
"The thing that gets in your head is: 20 seconds is a long time when you don’t know if you’re fighting for your life," Jake said.
"Ten more seconds and then what?"
The couple heaped praise on police for their investigation and transparency but they felt disillusioned by the court process.
"The justice system’s broken, in my opinion," Alana said.
Jake summed it up as "a never-ending spiral of crap".
This week, they were sent screenshots of Fraser’s Bumble dating profile and initially did not believe it was real.
"It just shows his total lack of empathy or remorse," Jake said.
They were further stunned to find out it did not constitute a breach of his home-detention conditions.
Again, bearing the emotional brunt was their daughter.
"You’re really helpless because there’s absolutely not a damn thing we can do. You just sit and see your daughter chopped down and chopped down," Jake said.
"It’s hard to know how to feel; you’re beyond angry. It hardens you to a lot of stuff."
Corrections Southern region operations director Kylie Macdonald said staff met Fraser shortly after discovery of the dating apps.
He reassured them he had cancelled his accounts.
An urgent application to the court was pending.
Among proposed conditions were that Fraser be banned from such sites and social media, and that he inform Probation upon starting any intimate relationships.
Alana, who urged her daughter to go to police, was now racked with guilt.
Asked if she would do it again, Alana said: "No, absolutely not. I wouldn’t ever put my daughter through this again".
While Jake hoped Fraser never hurt another woman, he was not optimistic.
"It’s not if, it’s when."
Timeline
Aug 3, 2020: Fraser is accused of raping two women he met on Tinder. Trial begins at the Dunedin District Court.
Aug 10, 2020: Jury clears him on all charges. It is revealed he was acquitted at an earlier trial on sexual allegations against another woman.
Apr 23, 2022: Fraser meets victim at a bar, takes her home, later slaps, chokes and tries to rape her.
Mar 1, 2023: Judge Jim Large jails him for two years three months, denies bail pending appeal.
May 2, 2023: Fraser’s appeal is heard in the High Court at Dunedin.
May 11, 2023: Justice Jonathan Eaton’s ruling allowing home detention is released.
May 15, 2023: Corrections learns of Fraser’s dating-app activity, makes application to tighten his sentence conditions.
