Foreword
This book was conceived and written as a response to the devastating psychological blow meted out to Dunedin's subconscious when the city was denied a big parade to celebrate the recent All Blacks win in the Rugby World Cup.
Despite clamour and outrage from our leaders, it was bigger cities to the north that tasted the jubilation only a big parade can engender.
That was just one more wave cutting deep into the sea wall of Dunedin's already drowning self-esteem, and follows numerous incidents in which we have been poorly treated by others.
That includes:
- Night after night of national weather reports where our maximum temperature is far lower than the reality.
- Other regional centres' claiming they are bigger than us, based on so-called ''census figures''.
We have been left in the cold, feeling small.
With growing tourist numbers meaning the eyes of the world are very much upon us, it is essential the city finds a way not just to suppress its sense of bitter injustice, but also find some way to actively present a positive face to the world.
This book is a mantra-based how-to guide based on the trainings implicit in meta-linguistic programming, and will optimise win-lose outcomes both at home and in the workplace.
Finding the courage to speak
Mantra: ''I know who I am and I am good enough.''
Behaviour modification: Your self-talk creates the reality in which you live, rewiring your brain to develop a positive and persistent new you.
In practice: Take this mantra to the streets, and use it when, say, dealing with tourists from cruise ships.
If you do not work in the tourism industry, you may not interact with these people, so find the courage in your ''good-enoughness'' to approach them in the street.
Ask them: ''Do you like us?''
Mention some of the positives Dunedin offers, and ask if they have anything nearly as good in their country.
Take the time to explain not getting a big rugby parade was only a small blip on the radar screen of Dunedin life, and that we are mostly over it.
If they try to move on or physically push past you mention the temperature and, if it is low, reference a time when it was more temperate, and describe how warm the city was that day.
Smile widely at them, and retain that smile for at least 20 seconds, while keeping eye contact with your face two or three centimetres from theirs.
Don't be afraid to follow them down the street at pace if they are too shy to engage - talking loudly will also help.
Courage comes with persistence, and persistence is its own reward.
Mix mindfulness with positive activism
Mantra: ''I always observe before I react.''
Behaviour modification: Self-affirmation must be tempered with calm mindfulness, so forcing oneself to spend a few seconds observing is helpful.
In practice: After observing visitors from larger New Zealand centres, particularly Auckland, Christchurch and Wellington, use your newly found positivity to approach them.
Try stopping them near the Dunedin Railway Station, or perhaps accost one at a dinner party organised by a friend.
The latter environment will generally be less conducive to your target leaving the scene.
Ask how their Super Rugby team went this year, and wonder out loud why the home of this year's champion team did not get a big World Cup parade.
Suggest to the host of the dinner party he or she has one of the ''chosen few'' (say this with a measure of irony) at the party.
Remind other members of the party from out of town of some of Dunedin's weather statistics, particularly ones that show the city in a good light.
Producing lists of figures and comparative analyses in these situations is often helpful, as is resisting strongly any attempts to forcibly remove you from the premises.
If you find yourself outside, it is fine to keep working on your self-affirmation by banging on windows and screaming.
The guide on this path is your own inner nature
Mantra: ''I share my inner nature with those around me - aggressively.''
Behaviour modification: Your inner beauty and the importance of your own world view should be shared vigorously with others to both reinforce your learnings, spread the message of meta-linguistic programming and make you feel more positive.
In practice: Now the new you, washed clean of any lingering dents in the castle of your self-esteem, can deal with some of the other issues the city faces.
Size matters - particularly for a city - and the matter of what so-called ''statisticians'' describe as our ''static'' population needs to be aired in a positive manner.
Choose a tourist from one of the larger cities by visiting motels and hotels, and in a loud voice demanding from the concierge the names and room numbers of those from centres the size of Tauranga and above.
If you encounter resistance, or if local authorities are closing in, remember your mantra, and take a stand.
Run from room to room explaining in a high-pitched voice Wikipedia has it wrong placing Dunedin's population below Napier-Hastings - that's not a city but two towns shoved together, and we are not ''seventh'' but fifth, in front of Tauranga (which isn't a real city either) and probably have more people than Hamilton, especially when the students arrive, and last week you saw just heaps of people in George St and were they counted? Eh?
And who makes up these figures anyway? Monkeys? Galahs?
When the powers of negativity finally close in with their ''handcuffs'' and ''legal powers'', stay positive and resist the urge to let fear dictate your life choices.
*There is no such book, but if I receive enough positive self-affirming feedback I might write it.
