"Didn’t you see that sheep in the middle of the road?" and "Boy, that power pole was close!" are comments I shrug off with, "Perhaps I need break. Would you like to drive for a while?"
An invitation always accepted, often with what sounds like a passenger’s sigh of relief.
Thankfully, I’ve never hit a power pole although many drivers have.
In my research into the topic, I find the pioneer in this activity was an Ashburton farmer called Hugh Keenan who, way back in 1931, after a drink or two, hit a pole at Willowby and was fined £20 (close to $3000 today) and his licence was cancelled for two years.
Enough to make you very wary of power poles, but I suspect it was the drinking which brought about Hugh’s heavy penalty.
At least, the pole was uninjured.
In more recent times, with thousands more motorists and tens of thousands more power poles, such collisions are common and, in some cases, the pole is downed and live wires present a danger.
That’s when things get serious and explains why Aurora Energy is running a safety campaign aimed at those who drive into power poles.
My power isn’t supplied by Aurora — Pioneer Energy does it — but I guess power poles behave much the same way in Maniototo as they do in other parts of Otago. If you’ve crashed into one, you’ve crashed into them all.
Aurora’s safety advice sets out exactly what you should do after hitting a power pole.
"Call 111 and stay in the vehicle" heads the list. I know they don’t mean "call out 111" which would be no use miles from any listeners apart from a few disinterested sheep.
They mean make a phone call, but I’ve never had a phone on my person so calling 111 is out of the question.
Staying in the car waiting for help to arrive on a rarely used rural back road is a fairly defeatist option. Probably safe, though, as Aurora explained, "electricity travels through the ground and your rubber tyres will help you avoid getting an electric shock".
If there’s very little rubber left on your tyres, then you’re in big trouble.
On a cheerful note, Aurora adds: "If your vehicle is on fire, open the door and jump clear."
Pretty straightforward and something you probably thought of, anyway.
But remember, says the ad, "to keep your feet together to stop your body becoming a conductor". No problem for an Olympic gymnast but a challenge to an elderly man.
Easier, though, to "not touch the outside of your vehicle". This prevents a possible electric shock.
"Remain on your feet" is a doddle but "shuffle or hop until you are at least 10m away" looks like a challenge. Shuffling and hopping are skills to be learned and not easy to pick up in an unexpected emergency.
Perhaps classes on hopping should be run by Aurora to get us up to speed.
Of course, once they hear about your mishap, Aurora "will switch the power off as soon as possible". It may take a while in my case. With no phone there’s been a long trudge to the nearest farmhouse where the entire family has taken off to town for a few days shopping.
Their neighbours are home and make the phone call but by then dozens of other country households are flailing around looking for candles to survive this sudden loss of power.
Aurora are to be commended for taking the trouble to keep us safe. Their message may also encourage drivers to be more diligent in avoiding power poles.
They will, of course, have to live with the anger of outraged consumers who are offended by the ad’s illustration. It shows a suitably terrified driver approaching disaster. Something like a poster for a horror movie.
Sadly, power poles will be always with us, given the cost of putting lines underground, and for dodgy drivers they will always pose a threat, leaping out in front of you as they sometimes do.
Perhaps my licence needs to be endorsed: "Valid only in areas where power and phone lines are underground."
That would make things safer but would restrict me to places like main streets and touristy places where I don’t actually want to go.
— Jim Sullivan is a Patearoa writer.
