Upping the ante: the issues behind dysfunctional behaviour

Drug addiction is a behavioural response to wanting to feel better. Photo: Getty Images

Addiction can be defined as a continued problematic behavioural pattern(s) despite negative consequences and is usually thought of in the context of substance use, such as alcohol. This is clinically measured by meeting criteria outlined by the American Psychiatric Association  around the severity of consequences; time spent obtaining/using/recovering; loss of personal control; and acquired tolerance to and/or withdrawal from use. Violence can be determined by any acts of unwanted physical contact such as hitting, pushing, non-consensual sexual connection as well as non-physical behaviours such as intimidation, coercion, blame, minimisation, threats or threatening behaviour by any individual or group towards any other(s). 

By looking at all of these for what they are, patterns in behaviour, it can be relatively easy to see how the two can often be linked. Drugs do make us feel better. We just need to accept that this is the way it is, and addiction is a behavioural response to wanting to feel better. We all want to have pleasant experiences in our lives. But, for some of us the negative experiences need to be turned off for that to take place, or at least it can feel that way at the time. Violence is about taking control, with an underlining and well-hidden fear of losing it — hence the need to feel in control.

Those bullies at school have often been victims themselves. Unfortunately, that’s where they learnt that it works. There’s also that unspoken world of combining pent-up feelings and emotions with a few too many drinks — men who want to prove their masculinity, but unfortunately the wall of a few jugs blocks any reasonable or logical thought. For many Kiwi families this is the horrifying reality summed up in Once Were Warriors (Duff, 1990).

The wild, uncensored and often brutal world of online pornography is easily accessible and defies all reality. It informs young people that what they are seeing is normal.  It is way too easy for young people who don’t have the social network of friends they long for to fade into the online world of porn, gambling and the equally false world of social media. Addiction.

The strange thing about the shock and awe of porn is that tolerance steps in relatively quickly. Extremes just aren’t extreme enough anymore. A lot like drugs. Violence is like that, too. That feeling of assumed power coming from all that shouting and hitting, or indeed the intensity produced from behaviours like silence and the accompanied threat of violence just doesn’t hit the spot any more. The perpetrator tends to up the ante to maintain the facade of control and to achieve the increased level of personal gratification. In a sense increasing the amounts being used, just like a substance use disorder.

I worked in a prison-based rehabilitation programme for five years. In that time I noticed quite a few things, and hopefully I managed to learn something on the way. The longer someone manages to abstain from any problematic behaviour,  the easier life events are to manage. The need for substances seems to dissipate. Violence is like this too. The longer someone uses assertive forms of communication instead of old aggressive or passive/aggressive behaviours, the easier it becomes to maintain. The risk is returning to old associates and environments and therefore the old patterns that lie there waiting.

CareNZ’s Drug Treatment Programme based at Otago Corrections Facility is a fantastic opportunity for men who are contemplating change to make positive use of their time in prison. It’s just a shame  the only real way for someone to get the help they need is to go to jail first. This work is largely fruitless without continued support for these men once they rejoin the community.

Moana House is one of the few residential therapeutic communities willing to address all forms of addictive behaviours, along with the co-existing disorders that are often hiding somewhere in the background. For those truly entrenched behaviours, sometimes a long-term approach is the best method of treatment.

Stopping Violence helps participants find effective ways to gain control and reduce feelings behind anger that could otherwise build to the point of violence. And recovery fellowships like Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous offer a common ground where empowerment can be rediscovered.

To me, addiction is a complete disconnection from everything and everyone. And the reasons for each poor person’s  disconnection are his or her own. It could be trauma, neglect, abuse, a broken heart, loneliness, anxiety or depression. 

One thing I  believe is addiction is an attempt to fix the problem, albeit a short-term and highly dysfunctional attempt. Violence is an attempt to take control. Both reflect dysfunction and both eventually cause it. Treatment, and I personally hate that term, does appear to work. But only for the person seeking help and not the person forced to please others.

- Heath Te Au is a Dunedin drug and alcohol counsellor.