Tamati Ellison was going back to Japan, they had read. And Peter Essimist and Bob O'Ptimist had very different views on the matter.
Peter: Gah, another rat deserting a sinking ship.
Bob: Whoa there, fella. Ease up. What do you mean by that?
Peter: The Highlanders are dead stinkin' last in the Super 15. This joker's been out half the year with a dicky shoulder. And he chooses to wave the white flag and go.
Bob: That's harsh. He's a top bloke and he's been a heck of a fine player for the Landers. I'm sure he's got some good reasons for making this decision.
Peter: Hundreds of thousands of good reasons, I imagine.
. . . over All Blacks
Bob: Yeah, well, presumably the standard of footy over there is improving with 527 Kiwis signed up.
Peter: Pfft. Take out the has-beens, the never-wases and the never-heard-ofs, and there wouldn't be much left.
Bob: You're a nasty piece of work. Tamati's got my support. He's 30, his body has copped the usual battering and he's making a smart decision for himself and his family. He's an elite sportsman, and those blokes have a short shelf life.
Peter: Hmmm.
Bob: And, my old mate, if you were offered three times as much money to do a less stressful job, wouldn't you do it?
Peter: I hate that argument. Professional rugby is no ordinary job. The only reason these jokers can make so much money is because of the emotional investment of the fans. That's what drives the TV money, the sponsorship, everything.
Bob: Eh?
Peter: What I mean is, I'm not going to fall over myself congratulating a player who is willingly turning down an All Black jersey in favour of wallowing in the yen in a third-rate competition. If you're a sportsman, don't you want to play at the top level? Isn't it about more than just how much money you can earn?
Bob: You'll be singing a different tune when our Tamati leads the Highlanders to a big upset over the Bulls tomorrow.
Peter: Ba ha ha ha ha ha.
Bob: Besides, he's only exercising a clause in his contract that says he can go.
Peter: Gah. One of about 15 clauses. The whole thing's munted. The top rugby competitions should offer the top wages so the top players can stay in them.
Bob: I think we both can agree on that.
Nugs v Landers
I suppose I have the casting vote in the ''Which team is in the crazier situation: the Nuggets or the Highlanders?'' debate.
Both my colleagues, Adrian Seconi and Steve Hepburn, make some good points. Adrian leans on (tortured) history to point out the Nuggets leading the NBL is truly whacky; Steve just starts listing the All Blacks in a team that simply should not have the wooden spoon.
My feeling is that the Highlanders' situation is marginally the nuttier.
We knew the Nuggets would be better. We knew that the second Mark Dickel came home. And when they retained their imports, got a healthy BJ Anthony and brought in Brendon Polyblank and Hayden Allen, the playoffs were almost a certainty.
You can't develop a winning culture overnight but, with just five players on court, it is definitely possible to turn a team around in the space of two seasons.
As for the Highlanders, well, words still fail me. For all the injury problems (which every team has, by the way) and rough calls (ditto), this is just ridiculous.
The Super 15 is too tough a competition to say a team is certain to finish in the top six. But the wooden spoon? With their most stacked roster in 11 years? Utter madness.
Kurow's finest
A former North Otago man is keeping the sand out of his whistle as he pursues a refereeing career in a rather unlikely setting.
Chris Linwood, who captained the Waitaki Boys' High School First XV and played in the same Kurow junior team as one Richard McCaw, now lives in Abu Dhabi, where he works in the legal team for Aldar Properties.
The 32-year-old, nicknamed ''Bobbo'' at school for his admiration of Springbok loose forward Bob Skinstad, has joined the Asian referee panel. He controlled his first two ''tests'' last week: Pakistan v Laos, and Uzbekistan v Laos.
Linwood, who played at colts level for Dunedin club Pirates, quit rugby at a young age due to a shoulder problem and took up the whistle in 2009.
He worked as an assistant referee at the Dubai and Hong Kong legs of the world sevens series, and is heading to Korea this weekend to be on the sidelines for Korea v Hong Kong.
Linwood, expecting a first child later this year with wife Karen, said rugby was ''obviously a lot different'' in his adopted land but there was plenty of passion on the field.
''In the UAE itself, rugby is obviously big among the expats - lots of TV coverage, thankfully - and is slowly growing among the Emirati population.''
League loss
Former Otago Daily Times correspondent Carey Clements passes on some sporting snippets relating to the late Brian O'Connor, who featured on the racing pages this week.
O'Connor played rugby league for Otago in 1955-56. His father, Tom, and two uncles, Jack and Ted, all played for Otago, while another uncle, Stan, was an Otago schoolboys league administrator.
Brian O'Connor played league for the Celtic club, where his father was the senior coach. A tough second-rower, O'Connor was part of history when Celtic played Athletic at Tahuna Park in 1955 in the first game of league played under lights in New Zealand.
He donated the O'Connor Cup in 1998 for Otago forward of the year and played in the 50th Otago Rugby League golden oldies match at Tahuna Park in 2003.
Protect your sauces
All sorts of free guff has landed on The Last Word's desk over the years but this one takes the cake - though it's probably better with steak.
We searched in vain for a sporting angle to link to the box of Glasseye Creek wild meat sauce that turned up, but did not really succeed.
Still, it is a spectacularly good sauce, and we have a bottle to give away. To be in the draw, send your name and a contact number to the email below by noon on Monday. The winner must pick up the bottle from our Dunedin office.
Birthday of the week
Wrestling legend Jimmy ''Superfly'' Snuka is 70 ... fine, former Manchester United footballer Norbert ''Nobby'' Stiles is 71 today.
And everybody who has heard of him is now picturing that footage of him dancing around Wembley in 1966, the World Cup in one hand and his false teeth in the other.
