Someone needs to gently remind the Steel that the word in front of the netball franchise's name is Southern, not Southland.
Since the shocking news broke of the collapse of Stadium Southland's roof, one thing has become evident.
The Steel considers itself an Invercargill franchise, not just an Invercargill-based franchise.
Team management has made it explicitly clear that it will do anything - import a court, play inside a cycling track - to avoid playing more than the two games already scheduled for Dunedin.
You know, because it's not like the Steel is a combined Otago-Southland team, or is 40% owned by Netball Otago.
Oh, hang on.
The Steel has an excellent record in Dunedin, the city has the only other suitable stadium in the region, and there is an appetite for top netball that has only grown since the tragic demise of the Rebels.
Steel officials argue they cannot risk disappointing their 1200 season ticket holders, the majority of whom live in the Las Vegas of the south.
Yet they are quite happy to disenfranchise the thousands of netball fans in Otago, who will rightly be wondering why they can't expect to see their team a little more often.
Look, we get it.
Your stadium's a bombsite.
That sucks.
But imagine if Carisbrook tumbled into dust.
Then imagine if the Highlanders decided to whack up some temporary lights at Tahuna Park in a desperate attempt to avoid playing more games in Invercargill.
Aha, I hear my friends in the chilly southern lands exclaim.
The Steel is only doing what the Highlanders did for so long - ignoring one half of the franchise.
Exactly.
And where did that get the Highlanders?
A rollicking read...
It is just over a week until the start of the Ryder Cup, the tasty biennial golf clash between the United States and Europe.
To give you a balanced preview of the much-anticipated fixture at Celtic Manor, I offered my colleague and fellow New Zealand Open reporter Dave Cannan an opportunity to engage in a spirited debate.
We have quite different perspectives.
One of us is a bespectacled chap who couldn't hit a golf ball straight if he tried; the other is called Hayden.
Let the debate begin.
HM: I'll start with three simple facts:
1. The United States is the defending champion.
2. Four of the top five ranked players in the world are in the US team.
3. United States 25 Cup wins, Europe/Britain 10.
Over to you, sir.
DC: Ah yes, impressive stats, but as every golf tragic in the world knows, the Ryder Cup is ALL about teamwork, not flashy individuals with bulging bank balances and egos to match.
The Europeans have dominated this event in more modern times because they have been the most together, I'd-die-for-you bunch of golfers who park their egos at the locker room door.
And that's why they've won five of the last seven Ryder Cups.
The main reason why the US won last year was because captain Paul Azinger took a leaf out of the European book and fostered a winning team spirit, whereas the more individualistic Nick Faldo couldn't foster that in the Europeans.
So, the big pressure at this stage goes on Corey Pavin and Colin Montgomerie to provide inspirational leadership.
HM: And who do you think will provide better leadership? Corey "Tiger has to earn his spot" Pavin? Or Colin "Mrs Doubtfire" Montgomerie?
One's a notorious choker whose biggest headline this year has been related to his bed-hopping exploits.
The other guy has actually won a major.
Look at that, one of us has already mentioned the T word.
Put aside the fact Tiger Woods has had 12 months from hell.
Ignore his less than impressive Ryder Cup record, or his struggles this year.
He's a winner.
With a few hundred points to prove.
That, and the fact the younger guys in the American team LOVE him, give me reason to believe the Tiger will roar at Celtic Manor.
DC: Who had the toughest pre-Cup decision to make? Pavin, who dithered over Tiger for weeks, or Monty, who agonised over world No 7 Paul Casey and world No 23 Justin Rose, but dumped them both and went for Luke Donald and three-time major winner but sadly out of form Paddy Harrington?
It might have been easier to leave Tiger out on form alone, not to mention his potential for splitting the team.
In the end, I think Pavin looked at a US team dominated by rookies and youngsters and risked it all by going for a wounded Tiger, just to bolster the experience factor.
. . . on the Ryder Cup
HM: How about these quotes for an insight into how a 21-year-old European golfer who needs a haircut is thinking:"It's an exhibition. At the end of the day, you're going to be remembered for what you achieve in an individual sport."
Rory McIlroy, come on down!
DC: I'm sure the other assistant team captains like Darren Clarke and Paul McGinley, both good Irish lads, will give Rory the rocket he needs to get him back on track.
Here's a better quote for you to ponder: "If we win the cup, the loud bang you will hear at Celtic Manor will be me, falling off the wagon."
That was Lee Westwood confirming to the Daily Mail he's been abstaining from his favourite tipple (actually ALL his favourite tipples) for weeks now, has lost more than 2kg in weight and is fighting trim again after a nasty torn calf muscle.
Apparently he then went out after delivering that quote and knocked his first drive to the fringe of a green 360 yards away!
HM: How about this Ricky Fowler kid in the American team? Someone told him to read "Zen Golf" - you know, Dave, that book you have devoured a dozen times - and he said: "Nah, that stuff isn't for me. I'm an old school guy."
DC: Yeah, right. An "old school guy" who, every time he makes a cut always wears bright orange EVERYTHING on the last day.
But now, when you mention kids like Fowler, you are getting to the heart of why the US is going to lose this Ryder Cup.
He's so young (21) he'll have to get his babysitter to be the caddy as well!
HM: So I hear there are two blokes in the Euro team called Molinari.
Isn't that some sort of fancy pasta?
DC: Don't you worry about my Italian stallions.
What better pairing could you get than a couple of brothers who know each others' games inside out?
Surely Monty will use them as a combo, and I'd back them against any American duo, including the much-vaunted reunion of Phil and Tiger.
That wasn't such a great success in 2004 at Oakland Hills, but I watched them play together at Cog Hill and the body language was a lot warmer than it used to be.
Maybe they both have something in common after all - both are struggling to play anything like the top two players in the world should.
HM: See, this is the down side of getting into a golf debate with a golf nut - you've watched about a thousand hours more of the Ryder Cup than me.
Phil and Tiger love each other now.
Phil's had a tough year with his wife's health issues.
And Tiger's had a tough year with his wife's bizarrely old-fashioned views on monogamy.
But what about off the course? No-one beats their chests and thumps their fists more effectively than the Yanks.
It's them against the world and it always has been.
They've built a culture around freedom, reality TV, gun ownership and peanut butter.
They stand together when times are tough, or when certain middle eastern nations try to shut down the flow of oil.
What exactly will bind the Europeans together next week? A shared dislike of the French?
DC: Two words: Seve Ballesteros.
I didn't want to play the Seve card but you forced my hand.
If the Euro boys need anything extra to fire them up, then they will surely summon the spirit of Ballesteros, so cruelly stricken with a brain tumour but still one of the greatest golfers to play a Ryder Cup.
HM: I'm running out of ideas.
But I will leave you with this thought, Dave: We've got Bubba.
And you don't mess with Bubba.
U-S-A! U-S-A!
DC: Well, we've got Monty, and yes, that scares the hell out of me.
Mr Grumps himself, who never won an event in the US, and someone who has never seemed to inspire that "follow me out of the trenches" attitude.
But, I've got everything crossed that the man who shares the Ryder Cup record for the most singles points won (seven) will defy the naysayers like all the British media and lead the Euros to a glorious victory.
An Open book
Speaking of golf, is there anyone left who seriously thinks the New Zealand Open WON'T be played at Clearwater next year?
New Zealand Golf, which makes the Indian Commonwealth Games committee look efficient, now says a decision on next year's Open venue will be made by next month.
Think about it.
There is no chance the organisation will suddenly decide to go back to The Hills.
You can't give a course such little notice.
It will be Clearwater next year and, if my sources are correct, for two more years after that.
It's a blow for The Hills and, personally, I think it's a mistake to walk away from such a spectator-friendly course and spectacular venue.
Name of the week
The Chief Minister of Delhi: Sheila Dikshit.
Golden girls
Sarah, Barbara, Valerie, Georgina, Caroline and our Yvette.
A new book celebrates the select group of New Zealand women to have won an Olympic gold medal.
Written by the talented Margot Butcher, the first woman to be named New Zealand sports journalist of the year, Golden Girls (Harper, pbk, $39.99) features a chapter on Otago's favourite daughter, Yvette Corlett (nee Williams).
The Last Word has a copy of the book to give away.
Flick an email to the address below with your name and a daytime contact number.
Entries must be received by 1pm on Monday.
