A very useful and meaningful survey

Liz Breslin
Liz Breslin
Thank you for your time in filling out this survey. This survey may look like other surveys you have filled out in the past but this is only in your imagination, writes Liz Breslin.

This survey is the only survey that matters right now and it is very impartial and we care deeply about your fully-formed and free-ranging opinions so please make sure you answer all questions to the fullest of your ability so that together we can make useful and meaningful change in useful and meaningful ways.

Q 1. What do you think of the proposed idea?

a) It’s great, I love it. Go for it.

b) It’s OK, I can see it has benefits. Go for it.

c) I am clearly going to have to live with and through this no matter what I say. Go for it.

d) I’m into nuance, so all of the above.

Photo: Getty Images
Photo: Getty Images

Q 2. Where do you think the proposed idea should be located?

a) Exactly where the handy outline is drawn on that very simple and helpful diagram.

b) Slightly to the left of that.

c) Slightly to the right of that.

d) I’m into nuance, so all of the above.

Q 3. Surveys are ...

a) The very best and probably only way to get a broad understanding of what a targeted community wants.

b) An excellent use of resources.

c) Not in any way frustrating or misleading.

d) I’m into nuance, so all of the above.

Q 4. People fill in surveys because ...

a) It makes them feel like their opinion is deeply valued and understood.

b) Surveys have been a thing since the 1930s and the ways and values of the 1930s are very currently very deeply very valued.

c) We know it is the absolute 100% guaranteed best way to make meaningful social change.

d) I’m into nuance, so all of the above.

Q 5. So back to the proposed idea. Do you have any opposition to the idea as it has been proposed?

a) Absolutely none at all. Go for it.

b) None that I can articulate. Go for it.

c) Maybe the line should move a little bit up and hold on, what, I’ve got a message and, what was I saying? Go for it.

d) I’m into nuance, so all of the above.

Q 6. The best way for us to get in touch with you with these survey results is

a) Oh don’t worry about that, I trust you. Go for it.

b) I will read about it in the newspaper.

c) You can send me an email, which I will skim-read and delete and also I will read about it online and click a little icon to show how fully I have interacted and understood.

d) I’m into nuance, so all of the above.

Thank you for choosing to make a meaningful and useful difference in our world by filling out today’s survey.

You have been entered into a draw to win sponsored products that align with our collective economic priorities and, anyway, your life will be more meaningful and more useful now that you have contributed your fully-formed free-ranging opinions and your time.



Has the NZ Attitudes and Platitudes survey landed in you box too? P.S. I'm not a robot!

Oh. Is it quantitative or qualitative?
Dear me, where are the comparative pie charts?
What's the margin of error?