The 54-year-old Dunedin Hospital part-time registered nurse was recently given a prestigious Excellence in Foster Care Award, for her caregiving of more than 40 vulnerable children from Oranga Tamariki over the past 25 years.
She has six children in her care — all under 10.
"The only limit is how many my car can carry."
Ms Illingworth said she was inspired to become a caregiver for Oranga Tamariki in 2000, after seeing her parents take on the role when she and her siblings had all left home.
"There’s kids out there that need help.
"It shouldn’t happen in our country, but it does and unfortunately it doesn’t seem to be getting any better.
"These kids need something positive in their life, they need that support and that help and they need good role models."
While young people running about her house had kept her young, it was not an easy role and there had been several times when she thought it might be too much to handle.
Due to her reputation as an extraordinary caregiver and her dependability, Ms Illingworth is frequently asked by Oranga Tamariki to care for children with high needs or challenging behaviour.
She has managed damage to her property, threats and physical abuse.
"Some of them can’t talk or won’t talk and others, they don’t know how to eat or use a toilet.
"Some come quite traumatised and they don’t trust anything or anybody.
"Watching them learn to talk and get toilet trained and become confident in themselves — it’s wonderful."
That was what kept her committed to the important role.
During those "bad moments", she said it was important to take time out for herself and regather her thoughts.
"It’s about your own mental health. If you don’t have that, then you’re not much good to them."
No matter how challenging a child was, sending them off to another family was never an option, she said.
"I don’t believe in bouncing them from place to place, because they’ve already been let down more than once.
"They’ve had enough trauma in their lives.
"It’s the only way to get them to learn to trust people."
Ms Illingworth said she felt privileged to win the national award, but was clear that she did not do it for the limelight.
"I don’t do it for the prestige of getting an award.
"I just do it because this is what I love to do.
"The biggest reward for me is seeing them go off into the world and thrive."
She said there was a mixture of sadness and joy when it came time for one of her children to go their own way.
"I feel proud of them really, because they’ve broken the cycle.
"They’ve come from horrific paths and they’ve made a life for themselves.
"They’ve all got jobs, they’ve had an education, they’re starting their own family and they’re giving me grandbabies.
"All my kids keep in touch with me. We’re a big family."
Ms Illingworth was one of 10 caregivers from across New Zealand who were selected by Caring Families Aotearoa, Barnardos, Open Home Foundation and Kia Puāwai, for providing a safe and therapeutic home to children in care.
