In a strongly-worded memorandum to union stakeholders, he said the ORFU was attempting to get the jersey colour-change decision reversed "and have made our point abundantly clear to the Highlanders board and the New Zealand Rugby Union, who are the owners of the five New Zealand franchises".
The ORFU believed the decision was not in the best interests of rugby in the region.
"It has been made in isolation, by those who do not have a thorough understanding of rugby and the way it operates in our region," Graham wrote.
The ORFU believed gold, royal blue and maroon, the colours of the three unions making up the Highlanders, should be reflected in the playing strip.
"The fans will determine the future of the Highlanders and the survival, or otherwise, of professional rugby in the deep South," Graham wrote.
"Once all the hyperbole is scraped away, it is the fans' opinion that should be listened to."
The ORFU was not asked its opinion and "feels keenly the lack of respect that this would appear to show to a partner in the franchise", he said.
"There would appear to be little, if any, market research done on the subject. If there has been, the ORFU is not privy to it."
Highlanders general manager Roger Clark was unavailable last night.
But he told The Southland Times the Highlanders had not ruled out reversing the decision to change jerseys next season, but it would take a pretty convincing argument for it to do so.
"You have got to show the courage of your convictions when you make decisions," Mr Clark said.
"As an organisation we made a decision, but I don't want to sound arrogant with that. We have got to listen."
Mr Clark acknowledged he had been surprised by the reaction, particularly given the struggle it had been to get people to games at Carisbrook this season.
"If it was decided that the latest move was having a detrimental effect on fan numbers, then it could be reviewed."
