Super Nan has fostered 167 children

Foster carer Helen Gillam, of Port Chalmers, stands outside the home she has opened to 167 foster...
Foster carer Helen Gillam, of Port Chalmers, stands outside the home she has opened to 167 foster children. Photos: Peter McIntosh.
Veteran foster carer Helen Gillam has been called many things. The baby whisperer, emergency helper and life-changer are a few examples.

But to the 167 children she has opened her home to, she is simply "Nan".

In 1981 Helen, a single mother of three teenage children on the domestic purposes benefit, decided to help others.

"Being on the benefit and getting help myself I wanted to give back and do something, so I looked after two adoption babies."

The newborn babies spent a few days with Helen (now aged 69), but her third foster baby, a 6-week-old girl named Kym remains with her to this day.

"Kym came and she went and I said if she comes back to me she should stay."

Veteran foster carer Helen Gillam (front with flowers), is surrounded by her family (from back...
Veteran foster carer Helen Gillam (front with flowers), is surrounded by her family (from back left) Kym Makanesi, Tony Gillam, Kenneth Makanesi (7 months), Tiare Makanesi (14), Taufa Makanesi (11), Jordan Dean, David Morris and Luisa Makanesi (5) at a special presentation for Helen in the Port Chalmers Town Hall on Wednesday. Photo: Peter McIntosh

In 1983, a year after first looking after Kym, and following health complications which meant Kym’s birth family could not look after her, Helen adopted her.

By 1995 Helen had seen it all.

"I’ve been down streets and down alleys, places I thought I’d never go. I’ve looked after newborns right through and had the runaways and upset kids, kids who lie and steal, and lots of kids from hard backgrounds."

Most of the children were what Helen calls "ins and outs" because they stayed for under three months. However, they still left their mark.

"Some of them you could get attached to, but you just can’t.

"I know when I’ve had enough and I know when I need help so I call the social workers."

There was one child, though, whom Helen could not let go of.

When a 2-day-old baby boy named Jordan came into her care in 1995, Kym (then 11) was besotted by him, Helen says.

"She wouldn’t let him go. She took time off school to be with him and she wouldn’t let other people near him."

She said the attachment puzzled everyone until months later a friend discovered Jordan was Kym’s biological brother.

Kym says she burst into tears when she learnt Jordan was her brother, and that Helen would adopt him.

While Kym and Jordan are now adults, young children still come and go. The work is no less challenging or rewarding now than it was 36 years ago, she says.

"The best bit is the success at the other end. Watching someone that had come in for six to seven months find a family; everyone needs a family. And then if it falls apart I help them all over again."

Helen said she had never been a mum for the children in her care.

"Everyone has a mum and I have always had the rule, you never criticise families.

"Everyone has a mum, but not everyone has a Nan so that’s what everyone calls me."

She has never had a holiday from children, and her days are based around a normally strict routine  that could be changed out of the blue by an emergency phone call at 2am.

But she would not have it any other way. Growing up as one of six children on a farm near Port Chalmers she was instinctively caring.

"I’d take days off school and look after my baby brother while my mother knitted."

Her dreams of being a Karitane nurse were crushed when she developed hepatitis.

"I got told the extra work would be too hard. Well, I proved them wrong.

"I don’t regret any moment of it, even though I’ve been yelled at and screamed at.

"I know there’s a bit of good in everybody; you’ve just got to get it out."

Kym (35) says her mother changed her life.

"Growing up she would always put us first instead of herself.  That meant a lot to us as kids. I don’t know who I would be without Mum."

On Wednesday, at a surprise event in the Port Chalmers Town Hall, Helen was awarded the highest humanitarian award in the international Lions club.

Club members planned the surprise for about three months, including applying to the international Lions committee for the prestigious Melvin Jones Fellow award.

Helen remains humble about her work.

"Often I will be walking along the street and I think I know that person and then I walk a bit faster because that might be a part of their past that has finished for them."

While she no longer feels she can keep up with the care needed to look after newborns, Helen still cares for children aged 7-14.

She says she plans to keep caring for vulnerable children for as long as she is physically able, and when she does have tough days her motto "I have to, it’s up to me" gets her through.

Helen has five children, seven grandchildren and one great-grandchild.

margot.taylor@odt.co.nz

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