Same-sex marriages up as overall figures fall

Since same-sex marriage was legalised in 2013, New Zealand has proven a popular destination for...
Since same-sex marriage was legalised in 2013, New Zealand has proven a popular destination for travellers to wed. PHOTO: GETTY IMAGES
By Kaya Selby of RNZ 

The fall in state-recognised relationships in New Zealand continues at pace, according to the latest government figures.
Stats NZ data reveals that new marriages and civil unions totalled 18,033 last year, a 4% drop over the year and a 10% drop over the decade.

Meanwhile the divorce rate, which clocked out at 7.5 per 1000 people, is closer to the general marriage rate, at 8.02 per 1000 people, than ever before.

But while fewer couples are tying the knot overall, same-sex unions have grown by 4%, at 729 in 2024, surpassing pre-Covid levels.

Stats NZ insights analyst Rebekah Hennessey said same-sex unions as a portion of overall unions were growing strongly.

‘‘They’re not trending downwards in the same way... What is particularly interesting is for people who are coming overseas to marry in New Zealand, 9% of them are same-sex marriages.’’

LGBTQIA+ couples across the world were increasingly seeing New Zealand as the right place to have their wedding, she said.

‘‘It depends on what the laws are in their country, too. Nearly a third of people that came here to marry for a same-sex marriage were from China.’’

Since same-sex marriage was legalised in 2013, New Zealand has proven a popular destination for travellers to wed. In 2024, 30.9% of same-sex unions were between overseas residents.

For those who still embrace the tradition, Ms Hennessey said that marriages were lasting for longer.

‘‘For marriages in the last 10 to 15 years, around 5% are divorcing within five years. If you look at a decade ago it was 8%, so that’s a reasonable drop.

‘‘In the longer term, around a third of marriages are ending within 25 years... I suspect that will likely go down in the future.’’

But since its peak in 1971 (45.49), traditional marriages have plummeted as their social significance quickly fades.

‘‘We can see that in the data, because there’s a higher number of de facto relationships than a decade ago. More recently, half of babies are born to unmarried parents.

‘‘So there’s not that social pressure to have to get married. You can be in a committed relationship without marriage.’’

Ms Hennessey said the decision to get married had begun to revolve more and more around costs.

‘‘It’s likely that the financial side is certainly playing a part... The costs add up quickly.’’

In more than a decade of celebrating weddings full time, Carla Rotondo has seen a shift towards the cheaper, more low-key elopement.

‘‘I always think that one has to consider the full picture, what is society doing in general, what are marriages, how are they viewed.

‘‘Bottom line: finances are a huge part of that... I’m doing truckloads more winter weddings because they’re cheaper.’’

For her, the shift in her clients’ perceptions of what marriage meant to them had meant traditional weddings, while they still happened, were often decided against.

‘‘It’s a more modern approach to being married as well, and to be honest what it does is focuses on what the two people are doing, rather than the palaver.’’

In her time, she had seen a significant shift in same-sex couples coming to her.

‘‘I’ve always had a rather large proportion of my client base being same-sex.

‘‘A lot of mine are the smaller ones. They’re quite practical, more modern, more flexible... and they’re a hell of a lot more fun.’’