Recent publicity has revealed that "Dunedin" done in weirdly shaped lettering reminiscent of the billboards for B-grade horror films is not, as most of us thought, graffiti that will eventually disappear, but is, in fact, an official project designed to "promote" the city.
"Dunedin" in this ugly Gothic-style lettering is actually being sandblasted on prominent surfaces like the tarmac at Dunedin International Airport and the chest of that well-endowed waitress at the Speight's Ale House.
Not surprisingly, the matter was raised at a recent meeting of the Dunedin Image Management (DIM) committee and under the provisions of the Local Government Official Information and Meetings Act and the Summary Offences (Tagging and Graffiti Vandalism) Amendment Act 2008 the minutes of the last committee meeting have been made available to this newspaper.
Apologies were received from artistic adviser Rupert Bracewell ("I've got my hands full with my Reclining Nude") and from Dunedin Action Group (DAG) chairman Reg Listing ("I can't be bothered, thanks"). The committee acknowledged the receipt of many letters of concern from the public and the chairman tabled a suggested generic response: Dear...
Thank you for your letter. I can't tell you how we came to be lumbered with the odd lettering you mention as I have no idea. Some committee somewhere, at some time, must have looked at it and signed it off. Perhaps someone in the Drainage and Related Works Department saw it?
Nor had this committee realised that it is most commonly associated with the logo for the heavy metal group AC/DC, whose main contribution to posterity has been to give Australia an even worse image than Sir Les Patterson has.
We didn't know that this lettering is strongly linked with the posters and signs for many of the most distressing aspects of the Nazi regime. We now understand this style of lettering was gradually abandoned by the Nazis as they conquered parts of Europe where the locals couldn't understand a letter of it, but Dunedin, as far as any of us know, was never under the Nazi jackboot, so there's mystery about the "German Gothic" link with our city.
We are as confused as you are. But we are working on it.
Yours sincerely, etc The committee agreed that the letter was forthright and honest and could set a new direction in transparency for bureaucratic letter writing. A trend to be wary of.
Much of the meeting was taken up with discussing alternative fonts for "Dunedin", and these are summarised below.
Dunedin Public Library style: Originally favoured as money has already been spent on it and it is crisp, clear and straightforward. Dismissed, though, as it does not have a capital D at the beginning, a problem already faced with the old German Gothic version under discussion.
Times New Roman: Commonly used by newspapers and, while perfectly inoffensive and clearly legible, was dismissed as "boring".
The "Plunket" style. Colourful, crayon-like lettering. Dismissed as likely to cause confusion with Plunket, play centres, kindergartens and Green Party memos.
Mishmash font: A confused, forgettable mix of fonts and style likely to appeal to no-one. Dismissed as already being used by Toitu Otago Settlers Museum.
Chinese script: Much favoured, in view of our need to cement trade relations with China and get at least a few Chinese to visit their very own garden in Dunedin. Eventually dismissed, not because no-one would be able to understand it, but because Dunedin in Chinese is almost identical to "Chicken Fried Rice".
Morse code: Like many off-the-wall suggestions, this idea seemed to be a most imaginative move. However, Dunedin in dots and dashes takes up far too much room and could easily be mistaken for a Richard Nixon conversation with expletives deleted.
After a much-needed break at a coffee shop, at which each committee member paid for their own coffee and had the proprietor sign an affidavit to that effect which could be presented to the Dunedin City Council finance people on demand, discussion resumed. This coincided with the arrival of the committee kaumatua who was invited to comment.
despite his best efforts no evidence could be found of pre-European Maori lettering and he suggested something along the lines of the cave drawings near Duntroon, but had to acknowledge few computer programmes provide a font anything like the drawings.
Just when the committee was getting fractious and squirming in their seats, the kaumatua came up with a bold and imaginative suggestion which, while initially breath-taking, soon gained favour, especially as the evening was drawing in and many members needed to get home for Coronation Street.
This valued contribution from the kaumatua led to at least one firm decision being taken. The committee recommends: "In future use any damn font you like but change the lettering to 'Otepoti'."
• Jim Sullivan is a Dunedin writer and broadcaster.
