Almost a month after Alexandra woman Denise Potter went missing in Dunedin, her disappearance remains a mystery. Lynda van Kempen caught up with Mrs Potter's husband and daughter this week to see how they are coping.
Not knowing is the hardest part.
Denise Potter's husband of 34 years, Steve, and youngest daughter Sharelle say until they have some closure and while there's still the faintest glimmer of hope, they can't accept they will never see her again.
Mrs Potter went missing about noon on Monday, March 30, from the garden of eldest daughter Koren's Carroll St home.
She had been staying with Koren.
Sharelle was also staying there after returning home from overseas.
Mrs Potter's disappearance was out of character and the daughters alerted Mr Potter, who was in Alexandra.
He travelled to Dunedin confident she would be found quickly.
''I thought she might've gone away to get some space and hung on to that hope, but after that first day's searching and then a second night out in the open for her, I knew that couldn't be the case. It was too cold for her to be out.''
Searches within the first 10 days involving police and hundreds of volunteers have failed to find any trace of Mrs Potter.
She has not used her cellphone or bank card and there are no leads on what happened to her.
''It's such an unreal situation,'' Ms Potter said.
Her mother had been through some tough times, health-wise, in the past year or so.
''She'd come out of a cancer operation and follow-up chemotherapy and radiotherapy,'' Mr Potter said.
However, she kept her health problems to herself.
''She'd rather make a fuss of other people than have people make a fuss of her, '' Ms Potter said.
''She's such a strong woman, and selfless.''
The family said it was futile to speculate on what had happened.
''You do go through all the different scenarios about what might have happened and wonder what she was thinking, where she might have gone, but it does your head in and you're no further ahead,'' Mr Potter said.
''There's been no sightings. After this amount of time we have to be realistic but at the same time we're still hopeful of finding ... something.
''We're not hopeful that we're going to find her alive. It would be nice to get a bit of closure and be able to bring her home. Not knowing ... and the thought of maybe never knowing, that's what's really hard.
''In our heart of hearts we know it's not likely we'll ever find her, but you have to have a glimmer of hope. Mr Potter and Sharelle returned to Alexandra a fortnight ago and picked up the threads of their life.
''Searching for her was helpful because you were achieving something and we certainly covered some ground. It's been a numb few weeks though, emotionally draining,'' he said.
All the people who took part in a social media campaign which boosted the number of searchers, and the distribution of missing person posters far and wide amazed the family.
''That was incredible. All that support we received shows what people think of Mum and what kind of woman Mum is,'' Ms Potter said.
For now, the family was trying to get on with everyday life.
''We're boxing on, trying not to spend all day thinking about it,'' Mr Potter said.
''There's no point getting sad and sorrowful, bitter and twisted. You can't change what's happened.
''The next step is talking with family and friends about having a memorial service. As hard as that is and as final as that is, it's important for everyone and will help us move on.''
Police spokesman Nic Barkley said in the absence of any further information or leads, police would be speaking to the family about what to do next.
''With any missing person's case, it is always police's goal to find them and bring them home to their families. Sometimes this does take time, but we offer the family as much support as we can until this happens,'' he said.
The Potters are well known in Central Otago.
They came to national prominence through their campaigning on behalf of Shane Cribb, who was wrongly convicted following a crash between his car and a police ute in 2005.
Mr Cribb was eventually exonerated and an Independent Police Conduct Authority report last year found Southern district police had mishandled the investigation into the crash.
