By Penny Miles of RNZ
A chorus of former England cricket stars have torn into the current 'Bazball' side, after the team suffered an embarrassing Ashes test defeat in Perth inside just two days.
England went from a position of control at lunch on Saturday, the second day, to collapsing to 164 all out in their second innings before a sensational Travis Head century led Australia to an eight-wicket victory in a frenetic match.
Long-time commentator and former test opener Sir Geoffrey Boycott unleashed a scathing column in the The Telegraph, declaring he could no longer take the team seriously.
He labelled the Ben Stokes-led and Brendon McCullum-coached side "stupid", and dismissed their batting as utterly "brainless".
England was on top for most of the first four sessions, but lost control with a batting collapse after lunch on day two.
"They never learn, because they never listen to anyone outside their own bubble," Boycott said.
Now part of Australia's Fox Cricket commentary team, alongside Australian counterparts Mark Waugh, Brett Lee and Adam Gilchrist, Vaughan was quick to underline the gravity of the defeat.
"It disappoints me hugely," Vaughan told Fox Sports.
"We've been saying we want Bazball with brains - but the brains haven't arrived," he told the BBC.
Recent former England pace-bowler Stuart Broad's internal agony in the Channel 7 commentary box went viral after ex-skipper Joe Root became the third England batter to fall in just six deliveries on day two.
Arms tightly crossed and eyes squeezed shut, Broad pinched his nose and drew a long, pained breath as man of the match Mitchell Starc claimed another wicket.
The moment prompted co-commentator and former Australian test batter Matthew Hayden to cheekily remind Broad to "stay in the commentary box".
England allrounder and legend Sir Ian Botham weighed in before the series.
The former captain told Reuters he was unimpressed with the England's preparations, which included white ball cricket in New Zealand, arguing touring sides traditionally needed time to acclimatise to Australian conditions.
"It's not the way I would prepare," Botham told reporters in Australia. "The ball does seems to get to you quicker [in Perth] and the light's different.
"You've got the 'Fremantle Doctor' - there's all kinds of things go into the melting pot."
Shell-shocked, skipper admits
Stokes, McCullum and the England players will have a chance to prove the critics wrong in the second test, a day-nighter using a pink ball, beginning on December 4 at the Gabba in Brisbane.
Stokes admitted his team were shell-shocked by Saturday's result, but declined to criticise his own side's batting approach after a second consecutive collapse triggered by a series of loose, early shots by the team's elite operators, Reuters reports.
"Little bit shell-shocked there. That innings from Travis Head was pretty phenomenal. It's quite raw, quite fresh at the moment. But sheesh, that was some knock."
However, he was in no mood to criticise.
"It's pretty obvious that the guys who managed to find success out there were the ones who were really brave, who really decided to take the game on because there was a lot happening out there."
Another former skipper, Nasser Hussain, backed England to shake it off and come back strong in Brisbane.
"They have to go into their bunker and dig deep. The one thing about this England side is that they do bounce back under Stokes and Brendon McCullum; they drew the last Ashes series in England from 2-0 down," Hussain told Sky Sports.
"They have a lot of character. They just have to show it now. But it is different in Australia. This is a defeat that will be difficult to come back from, I know that from experience.
"It is a mountain to climb for England - but they have a lot of character and a captain with a lot of character."
Australia have won 13 of their 14 day-night tests, including all three against England.
- additional reporting by Reuters
