Dunedin motocross star Courtney Duncan is used to injury setbacks, but her latest health struggles have been the biggest challenge of her career, she tells reporter Adrian Seconi.
Courtney Duncan has only known one way forward and that is full throttle.
You get in front at the first corner. You do what it takes to stay in the lead and you do not ease off until the finishing line.
Slowing down has never been part of the plan until now.
The four-time world champion has pericarditis, which is swelling and irritation of the tissue surrounding her heart.
It can cause breathlessness, dizziness and chest pain, and it has forced Duncan to take an indefinite break from the sport.
Duncan started racing when she was a pint-sized 7-year-old with a big dream to be the best in the world.
The way she tells the story, you have to feel for the poor boys she was racing back then.
"I was nuggety and I had big elbows," she says while making a gesture that strongly suggests she employed said elbows with little discrimination.
The 29-year-old is fiercely competitive. It is an edge that has carried her to the top of her field.
With an ounce more luck, she could have added another two or three.
So much of her identity is tied up in what she does. She is a racer. The fastest rider on the circuit. The tenacious battler from Palmerston.
But one morning in January, the racing was snatched away from her.
She woke up with severe chest pain.
It was terrifying.
There had been some warning signs leading up to the event, but she brushed them off as just a bit of asthma.
It certainly was not asthma.
She came to learn she had pericarditis and the way back was not at all clear.
And that uncertainty is the biggest challenge.
"It’s different from an injury, right?" she said.
"[When you have an injury] you have a time frame, a period, two months, four months, whatever that is.
"You have guidelines and you know where you’ll be in six weeks’ time.
"With this just comes a whole lot of uncertainty.
"That was a tough thing in the beginning when we couldn’t get answers. It was like, man, am I going to come right?
"And now we have some answers, there’s still that uncertainty around the time frame.
"Like, when am I going to feel good, when am I going to get back to training, when am I going to get back to competing?
"It’s just up in the air right now. The only thing we know that is certain is I’m going to get back to 100%. There’s no doubt about that.
Great indeed. And she is getting better slowly, with the emphasis on slowly.
The only exercise she can take on at the moment is a gentle walk. She gets exhausted quickly.
Even a busy day of travel or socialising can be tiring.
Previously, her days were energetic, hectic and full.
"Now I’m just having to slow life right down. But I think the most important thing is just looking to the positives, small steps, small wins, and just trying to embrace the rest and the recovery as much as I can."
Having been forced to press pause has created space for Duncan to reflect on life after sport and what is important to her.
And racing is still important.
"I’m still hungry. I still have the desire to win. I’ve achieved some great things in my career to date, but I still feel like I’ve got more to win and more to achieve.
"So, yeah, I want to get back to it and just kind of looking at, like, I’m going to be a much wiser athlete coming back from this, especially prioritising recovery and rest and understanding the importance of it."
That rest does not include tuning in to watch the Women’s Motocross World Championship.
It is too soon. It is still too raw.
"If I’d said, you know what, this is it, I’ve moved on, I want to do something else — then for sure I’d watch.
"I’d still have an eye on the sport, but I still want to be out there, so it’s really hard."
