Hayden Meikle's The Last Word.
Tale of two stadiums
Oh dear. The outlook is rough for our lovely new palace.
News of Forsyth Barr Stadium's worrying financial health will be no surprise to those who argued against the project from the start.
It must, however, cause even the most ardent stadium proponent to wonder if pushing ahead with the ambitious deal was the right decision.
My doubts were based on the sheer cost of the stadium, and whether a city of this size really needed something on that scale.
I also can't help but recall the case, made by many, that our theatre of dreams was going to do for Dunedin what Westpac Stadium has done for Wellington.
Let's compare those numbers.
Dunedin stadium: $1.9 million loss in first six months, projected annual losses of $2.4 million, $1.2 million, $1.1 million and $1 million.
Wellington stadium: $1.7 million operating surplus in first year, seven surpluses of $1.5 million or more in the first decade.
So what now? The clock can not be wound back. The Glasshouse is here to stay, a constant reminder of a beautiful but very expensive mistake.
The only hope is that more major sports events, more concerts and more functions can be procured to limit the damage.
A Friend in need
Two mates, one a rabid Warriors fan and the other a bloke who wouldn't know the difference between Bill Harrigan and Bill Tupou, were yarning in the pub.
Fan: Jeez, I love that Nathan Friend bloke.
Non-fan: Wait, isn't he the guy who lied about his grandmother to play for the Kiwis?
Fan: Nah, bro, that's Nathan FIEN. Nathan FRIEND is my new idol. Warriors hooker.
Non-fan: Nup. Never heard of the rooster.
Fan: He's a Warrior, not a Rooster. Though he's as tough as an old chook. Played 75 minutes the other day. With a broken bloody jaw!
Non-fan: You're not serious.
Fan: Fair go, champ. Breaks his jaw, plays on, makes 53 tackles - 53! - and the mighty Warriors win the game.
Non-fan: He's a nutter. Was he concussed as well?
Fan: He's a hero. A legend. A straight-up good Kiwi battler. With an Australian accent.
Non-fan: Sorry, but that's just utterly ridiculous. There's nothing brave about playing an extremely rough sport with a broken jaw. Where was the team doctor?
Fan: In his expert opinion, they weren't jeopardising the player's health by letting him continue. Good enough for me.
Non-fan: I don't buy it. And what sort of example does it set for the kids?
Fan: Mate, since when did elite rugby league players worry about being role models?
Non-fan: Good point.
Dust off the boots
No 47 on the list of rules that need to be introduced for the betterment of elite sport:When a team is coached/managed by a former star player, that person must be able to be pressed into service if absolutely necessary.
There are two obvious examples from this season.
Liverpool has been exceptionally profligate in front of goal, missing seven penalties and hitting the woodwork 46 times.
So, there should be provision in the laws of football for manager Kenny Dalglish, the King, to grab a pair of boots, get on the field and revisit his glory days in front of the Kop.
The Highlanders, meanwhile, find themselves scrabbling for loose forward cover following a spate of injuries and suspension.
If only they had a rugged loose forward standing on the sidelines who looks like he could still pack down on the side of the scrum. Oh, hang on ...
Crazy baseball
More nutty happenings from the great sport of baseball this week.
My beloved Boston Red Sox were beaten 9-6 by the Boston Orioles in a game that lasted 17 innings, eight more than normal.
Both teams burned through their reserve pitchers (the bullpen), so turned to non-pitchers to have a go. The Red Sox used outfielder Darnell McDonald, and the Orioles used first baseman/designated hitter Chris Davis.
It was the first time since 1925 that two Major League teams put "position players" on the mound.
Two days later, Texas Rangers slugger Josh Hamilton whacked four home runs in a single game, becoming just the 16th player to achieve the feat.
Hamilton's is a compelling story. Injuries and drug addiction threatened to ruin his career, but he may now be the most feared batter in the game.
A crisp telling-off
From the memory lane department comes this little yarn I stumbled across while doing some research in our 1992-93 files.
Some South Island football clubs were warned their participation in future competitions was in jeopardy unless - wait for it - they could provide evidence of consumption of a certain sponsor's product.
The Southern league was sponsored by Bluebird, and part of the deal was that clubs would buy Bluebird chips.
Eleven of the 28 clubs had provided no evidence of their chip-eating habits, and officials were not amused.
Rugby routs
The aforementioned research was an attempt to find out some more information about two big Otago Boys' High School First XV wins in the early 1990s.
Otago Boys' thumped Timaru Boys' 91-6 in 1992, and bashed Christchurch Boys' 67-3 the following year.
The Rugby Channel is trying to get some details on those two wins as part of a story it is preparing on the school's former long-serving coach, Brian Ashwin.
Apart from discovering Timaru Boys' was missing its regular first five, future Otago cricketer Craig Cumming, information is scarce. Can anyone help?
Black Gold
A shameless plug this week for the folks at the New Zealand Sports Hall of Fame.
Ron Palenski and company have updated their Black Gold book, the definitive record of New Zealand participation and success at the Olympic Games.
It includes the records of every athlete who has worn the black uniform at every Olympics, summer and winter.
The excellent resource is available from the Hall for only $15. Every school and home should have one.
Birthday of the week
Jonah Lomu is 37 today.
No rugby player has ever had - or ever will have - such an astonishing impact on the game.
