Nothing sends me to sleep quicker than yet another story about a New Zealand rugby player chasing the pound, Euro or yen.
Well, perhaps a debate over which of Seven Sharp or Third Degree is more pointless could mount a challenge, but that is easily avoidable.
The past 10-12 years have featured an abundance of news clips and sound bites about our rugby players seeking greener pastures.
The trickle of players has become a flood, and the crumbs of news material accompanying their movements have turned into mountains of (stale) bread.
Few weeks pass without another whisper of a departure, another source reporting a player is talking to agents in France, another sermon about how worrying this all is. Yawn.
What bemuses me is both the continued obsession with this issue - the players leaving seem to get more attention than the ones staying - and the implicit message that we are doomed if more go.
... over the top
The fact is that few genuinely elite New Zealand rugby players leave this country in their prime.
Carl Hayman did, obviously. Jerome Kaino. Nick Evans.
But take some of the recent instances of players announcing they intend to leave, or rumoured to be leaving, and you tell me if it isn't time to announce a moratorium on coverage of this issue.
Richard Kahui - outstanding player, but his career has been wrecked by injury and he has played about three meaningful tests for the All Blacks.
Craig Clarke - journeyman lock.
Lelia Masaga - very average All Black.
Rene Ranger - another who has promised much but done basically nothing at the top level.
Adam Thomson - fine, this one hurts. Thomson would still have been the Highlanders' best player. But, for all his magnificence, he was never a regular All Black starter.
There's no question the exodus of second-tier provincial players has hurt our depth in this country.
But come back to me when four or five key All Blacks leave at once. Then it might be time to weep. Craig Clarke and Rene Ranger? Keep the hankies dry.
Hunting Cheetahs
A running gag in the ODT sports department is how often one of us uses the term ''must-win''.
It might be slightly premature to attach that tag to the Highlanders' game against the Cheetahs in beautiful Invercargill tonight, but there is definitely some pressure on the home side.
A fairly limp opening loss to the Chiefs would hardly have sent Highlanders fans reaching for that big red button but neither was it welcome after an off-season of much excitement and anticipation.
The return of captain Andrew Hore tonight will bolster the pack immeasurably, and I wouldn't be surprised if the Highlanders unleash their frustrations and record a big win.
Opportunity lost
The Last Word understands some consideration was given to scheduling the Highlanders game in Dunedin tonight.
Why didn't it happen? Seems a no-brainer. Imagine all the cricket fans filing out of the University Oval at the end of today's play who would have decided to pop to the fancy stadium next door for a spot of rugby.
Invercargill could have been given the Easter Friday game against the Reds. Better game for the Southland faithful, and Dunedin would have got rid of the Easter clash that is often tricky because the city clears out.
Foot in mouth
Doug Bracewell. Oh dear.
New Zealand cricket is well known for shooting itself in the foot but it is a pity the young fast bowler had to take the theme so literally.
In this instance, Bracewell's loaded gun was a bare (or be-jandalled?) foot and the bullet was a pile of broken glass left after a booze-up.
The media loves nothing more than to use the term ''alcohol-fuelled'' but the amount of liquid consumed does not strike me as the most significant element of this incident. What's really bewildering is what goes on in a man's head when he cleans up broken glass in bare feet a few days before he is supposed to play a cricket test.
As for the Jeetan Patel, concussed-in-Queenstown incident, some sympathy is required. He has dealt with a family tragedy and his ''crime'' seems fairly minor.
The bigger issue there is why New Zealand XI management misled radio commentator Steve Davie regarding Patel's absence from the field.
Carrying the bags
Regan Pearce, the local lad who caddied for superstar Lydia Ko at the New Zealand PGA, wasn't the only big story among the bag-carriers at The Hills.
Otago Boys' High School pupil Cody McMullan had the incredible experience of being by Australian golfer Scott Strange's side in the playoff with eventual champion Michael Hendry.
No doubt Cody, a 16-year-old Chisholm Park member who plays off a three handicap, would have picked up plenty of tips from the experience.
No more Nix?
As I wrote last week, the A-League football clash in Dunedin was always going to be a hard sell.
A poor team, on its third visit to the city. A football match, 19 days before a more important football match, and sandwiched in between Highlanders games and a Warriors game and a couple of major concerts.
So it proved, with just 3060 fans turning up to see the Phoenix get an overdue win.
The empty seats were understandable but still disappointing. It will surely make the Phoenix and the league think twice about coming back next season.
More worrying is the thought the All Whites game on March 22 will only pull in 8000 to 10,000 people.
That would be a poor crowd for a game of that magnitude - a World Cup qualifier, and the first visit to this city by our national side since 1988.
Cricket set winners
Congratulations to Kate Love, Nathan Cosgriff, Bill McIntosh and Pru Hall, winners of cricket sets in our ANZ giveaway. Keep an eye on the mailbox, people.
Birthdays of the week
In honour of our many English visitors:- Cricketer Phil Mead would have been 126 today. He was a prolific scorer for Hampshire and England, finishing with more than 55,000 runs, including 153 centuries.- Rugby great Martin Johnson is 43 today. What more is there to say about the craggy-faced one? One of the greats.
