Rooting out ...
Joe Root. Joe Root. Ahhh, brilliant.
The English cricketer is more than just a sensational name, of course. He looks a very promising batsman.
But what a name. Just glorious.
Sport is a rich source of great names. In recent times, we've had the appropriate (sprinter Usain Bolt, tennis player Anna Smashnova, race car driver Scott Speed and poker champion Chris Moneymaker) and the wonderfully ironic (beanpole English footballer Peter Crouch).
Then there are those names which, ahem, require no further analysis: footballer Dean Windass, race car driver Dick Trickle, baseballer Dick Sisler, American footballer Dick Butkus and ice hockey great Ron Tugnutt.
... the best sports names
Impressive, but losing points because they changed their names, are NFL bad boy Chad Ochocinco (formerly Chad Johnson) and NBA oddball Metta World Peace (Ron Artest), while Picabo Street (skiing), Misty Hyman (swimming) and Fanny Chmelar (skiing) represent the women in the Magnificent Sports Names Hall of Fame.
Other favourites of mine include God Shammgod, SirValiant Brown, brothers Majestic and Scientific Mapp (all basketball), Razor Shines, Rollie Fingers, Coco Crisp, Pokey Reese, Pee Wee Reese, Rock Shoulders, Tim Spooneybarger (baseball), Gaylord Silly (athletics), World B Free (basketball), Destiny Frankenstein (softball), D'Brickashaw Ferguson, Richie Incognito and Fair Hooker (American football).
I can't think of too many New Zealand contenders. Precious McKenzie. Sonny Bill Williams. The odd ancient All Black with a nickname that settled (Ponty Reid, Tuna Swain, Nut Hasell, Snow Cockerill, Tabby Wynyard).
The three greatest names in sport, in reverse order. -
1. Yourhighness Morgan: A hard-hitting college footballer who retired last year because of multiple concussion.
2. Wonderful Terrific Monds The Third: Baseball player whose parents REALLY loved him.
3. Dikembe Mutombo Mpolondo Mukamba Jean-Jacques Wamutombo. One of the great basketball defenders. Thank goodness his singlet was massive, so his name could fit on it.
Firing up Phoenix fans
Is it too fanciful to wonder if Ricki Herbert engineered his resignation this week to boost interest in tomorrow's game between the Phoenix and the Heart in Dunedin?Fair point. Results probably had a little bit more to do with his departure than single-game marketing.
But shivers, this is a hard sell. The Phoenix is having an awful season. It is the club's third visit to Dunedin, so the novelty factor has long gone.
Most significantly, this A-League clash has now been utterly overshadowed by the scheduling of the All Whites v New Caledonia game for Forsyth Barr Stadium on March 22. In a sense, New Zealand Football has done the Phoenix no favours.
Still, I would encourage fans to get along tomorrow if they can. A poor Phoenix team is still OUR Phoenix team.
Bravo ...
Could the Warriors have done any more to promote themselves and their sport while they were in Dunedin?They agreed to any media request, they visited schools and hospitals, they signed autographs and posed for photos and did some coaching, and they won their first game in a long time.
To top off the visit, they got former player Ruben Wiki to tackle a streaker, the Otago Daily Times video of which made the Deadspin website.
... and boo sucks
The Brisbane Broncos, on the other hand ... hmmm. Let's just say I hope it's the Panthers or the Eels who come next time.
Never, in 15 years in the media, have I encountered a visiting sports side less inclined to make themselves available to promote their sport.
The Broncos refused to be interviewed while in camp in Queenstown, did not respond to either an email or a phone call from this newspaper seeking pre-game interviews in Dunedin, and made just one player available after the game.
I understand some Broncos players did visit children in Dunedin Hospital, and that is, of course, to be commended.
But unless they are satisfied for rugby league to be confined to Queensland, New South Wales and Auckland, they might like to try a little harder to promote the game the next time they visit a place like Otago.
The awards issue
My basketball mentor was (is) a wise and funny man. We'll call him Roy Colbert. He sat next to me at Nuggets games for a couple of seasons, educating me about the history of the franchise, the outrageous behaviour of coaches (''Don't take it too seriously, Hayden - it's part of the SHOW'') and the meaning of the sport's statistics.
Following my piece on the Halberg Awards recently, Roy emailed me with an idea that made so much sense it had to be included in this column.
To limit the controversy that invariably arises at the function, he suggests creating a separate award to recognise individuals or teams who might not have won anything, but whose achievement demanded some sort of recognition.
Some sort of ''Against The Odds'' or ''Underdog'' award would be perfect, Roy suggested, to both reward those who achieved something remarkable, and placate those who feel the supreme award must be for champions only.
His examples of contenders for the new award included Chris Lewis reaching the Wimbledon final in 1983, the Tall Blacks placing fourth at the world basketball championships in 2002, and the All Whites drawing all three games at the 2010 Football World Cup.
Play ball
Great to have the world softball championships back in New Zealand, and to get the opportunity to see some action on television when they reach the business end.
I'm not convinced the Black Sox will regain their title. Their pitching staff, in particular, looks a little light.
More horse play
What I know about dressage would fill a very, very small book but it does seem we can perform ballet on four legs in this part of the world as well as anyone.
Following Otago's win in the national teams event, another local rider has claimed a major prize.
Gillian Edgar and Cordacious, the level 4 national reserve champions, won the overall South Island circuit on points, ahead of two Marlborough combinations.
The T.L. MacLean-sponsored circuit is co-ordinated by Dressage Otago. Each area nominates four days to count for points, and the final is held in Otago.
Prizes! Prizes!
The Last Word has four ANZ Summer of Cricket beach sets to give away. Yes, there is still plenty of summer left.
To be in the draw, email your name, address and phone number to hayden.meikle@odt.co.nz with ANZ Cricket Competition in the subject line. Entries must be received by 5pm on Tuesday.
Birthday of the week
John Peter Rhys Williams - JPR, to most of us - is 64 today.
Has there been a better set of sideburns in sport?
