1. Swimmer Mark Spitz
Before Michael Phelps there was Mark Spitz. He was totally, like totally dominant at the 1972 Munich Olympics, winning seven gold medals, all in world record time. And that was before they had 50m events. He was nicknamed Mark the Shark for good reason. He retired straight after the Munich games but nearly 20 years later he announced he would seek to qualify for the Barcelona Olympics. At 41 years of age, he was just too slow, two seconds outside the qualifying mark. One critic who saw him compete said "it wasn't swimming, it was bathing".
2. Tennis player Bjorn
Borg Borg was the master in the late 1970s and the ice-cool Swede won Wimbledon five times in a row and was also the winner of six French Opens. He was not the most elegant of players but could run down any shot. He, though, peaked early and retired aged 26 in 1983. But then in 1992 he came out of retirement under the shadow of money problems. It was a complete flop of a comeback, with his wooden racquet. He played nine matches and lost the lot.
3. Basketballer Michael Jordan
Jordan will forever be associated with the Chicago Bulls. It was with this team that he won six titles and gave basketball the high profile it now enjoys. He retired once to play baseball but came back to the Bulls and then seemingly hung up his singlet for good in 1999. But he then came back for two seasons, aged 40, for the Washington Wizards, a side in which he had a stake. He played the most minutes of any player but his points average was down and he often questioned the dedication of his team-mates.
4. Rugby player Sir Brian Lochore
The No 8 seemingly went back to the Wairarapa farm for good after the unsuccessful 1970 All Blacks tour to South Africa. But the Lions arrived next year and the second-row stocks in the All Blacks thinned. Big Peter Whiting went down and Lochore was summoned from the farm to Wellington to lock the scrum with Colin Meads. Lochore allegedly wrote a note on the kitchen table to his wife: "Gone to Wellington, home Monday." Lochore's presence, though, did not help the All Blacks, who lost 13-3 at Athletic Park.
5. Cricketer Colin Cowdrey
With the initials MCC, Cowdrey was always going to play cricket. He first played for his country in 1954, he captained his country and was the first cricketer to play 100 tests. But after it all seemed over he was called up to fly across the other side of the world to face Australian speedsters Dennis Lillie and Jeff Thomson. Rusty from not having played cricket for months, Cowdrey, at 41, showed some resistance with the bat but it was not enough to help England.
6. Racing car driver Michael Schumacher
The comeback of the Schu was a huge event at the start of last year. After seven world championships and a profile few could match, the little German decided to put the helmet on again. He had plenty to live up to: 91 wins, 68 poles. 76 fastest laps, 154 podiums. Signing with the Mercedes team he has barely been sighted as age - he is 42 - and a poor car have slowed him down.
7. Any boxer of note
Pick a boxer, anyone, any weight. And if they have a shred of success then they would have retired. Boxers seemingly do not have off seasons or take a year off. They always retire. All of them. From Muhammad Ali to Floyd Mayweather. Within six months to a year though they are out of retirement to face a rival for a lot of money. Retirement is more like waiting for more dollars to come along. A few like Lennox Lewis do actually finally retire for good.
There are others: Martin Crowe, Adam Parore, Jeff Wilson, Ian Thorpe, Lance Armstrong, Thomas Muster, Kim Clijsters, Kimiko Date-Krumm... the list goes on.
But the most common thread to these athletes when they come back?
They don't make it. Nowhere near in most cases.
Shane, you have been warned.
