I was reminded again, last weekend, that refereeing a First XV rugby game is almost certainly the least enviable job in sport.
It was a game in an anonymous town, played between two schools whose names are not important, controlled by a man who does not need to be identified.
I was only there for the second half but, hooeee, what a noise.
The stream of advice coming from the sideline was CONSTANT.
I hesitate to call it abuse.
There wasn't much swearing, nor spittle flying from mouths, nor various questions being asked of the referee's breeding or eyesight, though there were dark comments relating to which part of Otago we were in, implying both bias and regional deficiency, and that did not impress The Clutch.
It was just a never-ending salad of whinge, whine and wail.
I was heartily sick of it after about 10 minutes, and it made me think again about the thankless task of picking up a whistle.
You love rugby, and you want to contribute to the community.
So, at the end of your working week, you give up your Saturday afternoon, you referee a school game then you run to the ground next door to run the touch for a senior club game.
Your reward?
Parents, coaches, supporters and the odd teenage boy with an over-inflated sense of his sporting status moaning about you.
I wrestle with my feelings about First XV rugby, because I enjoy it so much and I do think it holds a special place in our sporting landscape, and my mood on Saturdays can, at least partially, be linked to the efforts of my beloved Waitakians.
But for heaven's sake, will everybody please put a sock in it and remind yourself you are not at a World Cup final.
This is schoolboy rugby. It is, ultimately, about young men having fun and getting the chance to reap the benefits of being part of a team.
Remember, too, that even the top referees - PROFESSIONAL referees - make mistakes in nearly every game.
The bloke you are haranguing might miss a dozen knock-ons, and be consistently inconsistent in his offside rulings, but he's trying his best.
Postscript: And now we hear of an under-13 game being called off early because of bickering supporters. Unbelievable.
Blowing the whistle
That was a fascinating story about Dunedin netball umpire Jono Bredin requiring beefed-up security after that old ''comments on social media'' alarm.
Twitter, for all its incredible benefits as a source of news and views and humour, is a hotbed of abuse, and it's sad that even a sport like netball, where so many people act with grace and class, can bring out the nutters.
The security brouhaha also detracts from the issue at hand.
Admittedly, this is not something that has really crossed my mind, but there is a fair argument that Bredin, the chairman of Dunedin Netball, should not be whistling Steel games.
His character and objectivity are not being questioned, but it does seem a little messy.
Not just being impartial, but being SEEN to be impartial, is at the heart of officiating in sport at the top level.
Oh captain, my captain
Men need good men in their lives.
That's just a fact.
(Yes, they need good women, too, but this is about men.)
They need good fathers (I had one, and miss him terribly), good teachers (Mr Hinds, Mr Evenden, Mr McIntosh - I am forever grateful, sirs), good editors (the ODT has the best) and good mates (see below).
And, if you are a man who likes sport, you need men to admire on the field.
Martin Crowe, Mark Dickel, Michael Slater, Chris Finch - they were my fathers, my teachers, my mates in sport.
But, above all, the man who has been a sporting constant in my life has been Steven Gerrard, the captain of Liverpool Football Club.
I remember watching Stevie G make his debut in 1998, and obviously I have hundreds of other memories of great goals, great leadership and that night in Istanbul when he inspired my Reds to one of the greatest comebacks in football history.
The use of ''great'' three times in that paragraph is no accident.
That's the best word for Steven Gerrard, who wears the Liverpool shirt for the last time tomorrow.
Go well, Stevie G. You'll never walk alone.
Tri-ing too hard
The folks who run the Hawaii Ironman have got into some hot water - and it has cost them a boatload of cash.
Deadspin reported the Florida-based World Triathlon Corporation had been forced to forfeit $US2.7 million in return for not facing criminal charges from the US Attorney's Office.
The crime? Running an illegal lottery.
The Ironman folks had been running a $50 lottery for places in the event, but that is illegal under Florida law.
Farewell, my friend
Journalism can be a lonely pursuit. You get to know a lot of people, but few become friends, especially in an era when there is more competition and less co-operation.
That is why it can be genuinely rewarding to make a good mate in the industry.
One of mine over the years has been Nathan Burdon, who shortly leaves his post as sports editor of the Southland Times.
He's a pure and passionate Southlander, so that's a reasonably large black mark against his name.
But he's also a thoroughly good man, a proud husband and father, and a fine journalist. I will retain many warm memories of our bantering in various press boxes over the years.
Enjoy the new job, old mate.
The first quote
''With so many lucky charms, nothing can really go wrong.''
- A spokesman for German football club Paderborn predicts great things to come. The Bundesliga's bottom team has invited chimney sweeps - a sign of good luck, apparently - dressed in full gear to its game this weekend in a bid to avoid relegation.
The second quote
''I know there's that quote about racing at Monaco being like riding a bicycle around your bathroom. Well, when I was a kid I used to love riding my little bike around inside the house - it was more fun, there were more obstacles and a bit more danger. That really is what this is like.''
- Formula 1 driver Daniel Ricciardo has been preparing for the Monaco Grand Prix since he was a nipper.
Triumph
Only seven days till the opening game in the Fifa Under-20 World Cup. Bring it on.
Disaster
Only in Argentina. A Boca Juniors fan is expressing regret after pepper-spraying players from the River Plate club. Well, sort of.
''I never intended this to happen. I didn't think there were cameras. I didn't think it would go this far,'' Adrian Napolitano told media, according to Reuters.
Boca was kicked out of the Libertadores Club for the actions of the so-called fan.
