There is something about a post-match interview translated from German that is even more lame than the traditional post-match interview translated from, for instance, rugby-speak.
Take this from Red Bull Crashed Ice 2011 series winner Martin Niefnecker (add your own accent): "It's not as relaxing as it was last year; the competition is harder, you can feel that. I think things are going well."
Admittedly, Niefnecker did not give credit to the other team, and said nothing about the hard work of the forward pack making his job easier, and good on him for that.
But it is hard to get too excited about strange foreign sports that appear to have been created by an energy drink company.
That is despite the breathless commentary by an English gentleman who does his very best.
The sport is Ice Cross Downhill.
Red Bull Crashed Ice 2011 begins this weekend on Sky Sport.
And I'm not convinced.
Sport has a long history of being rapidly enveloped by commerce, but generally the sport starts first, before it is consumed.
This is a wee bit different.
According to the New York Times, Crashed Ice was conceived when executives at Red Bull's Austrian headquarters heard a pitch for a new sport based on downhill skating.
So instead of buying a sport from underneath the amateurs who began it, the company developed it from scratch.
Crashed Ice boasts it has some of the best and toughest ice hockey players in the world, a sizzling atmosphere, stunning surroundings, tonnes of steel, and, best of all, a huge cooling system.
The idea of the sport appears to be to send four of these fellows, who look like baseball players without the gut, down a fast course full of corners on their skates, and see who gets to the bottom first.
Because it is full of Europeans, a little slice of Euro-politics comes through in the commentary.
"A German and a Slav - or a Slovak, excuse me - go on to the next round," our commentator says.
Like all sports, it has statistics. In Valkenburg, which is somewhere in Europe, apparently, stands the Cauberg, a steep slope with a gradient of 12%, a 45m-high starting line, and a 390m ice track to skate down.
There are 1000 world championship points to be had, and 100,000 fans turn up when they hold the event in Quebec.
Those are big numbers.
But despite the baying crowd, the blow-up advertising hoarding, the flashy lighting and the uber-serious sporting visage in the super close-up interview shot, this is a manufactured pastime, not something that developed organically because people enjoyed doing it.
And that, old fellow, isn't cricket.
