'We're stuck with their sh*t'

WARNING GRAPHIC CONTENT: Jason thought his babysitter was 'cool'. But he turned out to be the start of a series of 'predators' who sexually violated him. He spiralled into drugs, drink driving went to jail and was then injured in the 2011 Christchurch earthquake.

​"Why I don't understand is how they can do this to someone and live a normal life.

"And we are stuck with this sh*t. Their sh*t," he said.

Jason, speaking through tears, said he was first sexually abused from about six-years-old.

He was abused by a series of predators, including a babysitter.

"I was sworn to secrecy. He was going to hurt me if I said anything."

Because his mum was not coping well after splitting with his dad he was sent to health camp, where he was abused by an "old man".

His recollection of the abuse if foggy, but he remembers waking up naked in an old man's bed.

He said the abuse made him a "confused little boy" who was "afraid of the world".

As a teen he was expelled from secondary school after smashing windows after being repeatedly bullied.

He had been "in and out of the court system", including for drink-driving, and had relied on alcohol and drugs.

Crushed in the earthquake

During the devastating February 22, 2011 earthquake he was partially crushed under a boulder.

He was building a retaining wall out at Sumner when the earthquake hit.

A 3 tonne boulder came down. Of the four workers, one was killed and he and another were injured.

"I turned into a full-time alcoholic after that."

He realised after losing a girlfriend he needed to "fix myself".

It took him "two years" and he said he was now not as "clouded" as he was before, despite having some bad weeks.

"My relationship with my son is ten times better than it's ever been.

"It's fun to sit and watch him be normal.

"And the confidence he has got is so incredible."

Jason spoke to CTV as part of its Challenge the Silence series. One in six boys will be sexually abused before they are 18.  In this video series, 10 men have told their stories. All grew up believing they were the only ones it had happened to. Now they want other victims to know they are not alone and, if they are ready, help is there for them.

Need help?

Need to talk? 1737, free 24/7 phone and text number

Healthline: 0800 611-116

Lifeline Aotearoa: 0800 543-354

Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0508 828-865 (0508 TAUTOKO)

Samaritans: 0800 726-666

Alcohol Drug Helpline: 0800 787-797

General mental health inquiries: 0800 443-366

The Depression Helpline: 0800 111-757

Youthline: 0800 376-633, txt 234 or talk@youthline.co.nz

What’s Up (for 5-18 year olds; 1pm-11pm): 0800 942-8787

Tone Miller, Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse Dunedin/Invercargill: 0211987878.

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