- NZ's sexual trauma story: 'We have failed to protect our children'
- Gang raped in the army showers: 'I know I'll never see justice
- Raped by a woman: They ask 'why didn't I like it'
- ‘I don’t know what love is’: Sexually abused at 3, then again in state care
- Boarding school brutality: ‘They used a broom handle on me’
- The secret locals knew: ‘Do you want to bring some friends along?’
- A life lived in fear: Drug addict at age 6, alcoholic at 7
- ‘Hold on to what they are, not what the abuse makes them’
- Violated by a priest who went on to commit a 'litany of offending'
- A 50 year secret: 'He ripped all my innocence away'
"Why I don't understand is how they can do this to someone and live a normal life.
"And we are stuck with this sh*t. Their sh*t," he said.
Jason, speaking through tears, said he was first sexually abused from about six-years-old.
He was abused by a series of predators, including a babysitter.
"I was sworn to secrecy. He was going to hurt me if I said anything."
Because his mum was not coping well after splitting with his dad he was sent to health camp, where he was abused by an "old man".
His recollection of the abuse if foggy, but he remembers waking up naked in an old man's bed.
He said the abuse made him a "confused little boy" who was "afraid of the world".
As a teen he was expelled from secondary school after smashing windows after being repeatedly bullied.
He had been "in and out of the court system", including for drink-driving, and had relied on alcohol and drugs.
Crushed in the earthquake
During the devastating February 22, 2011 earthquake he was partially crushed under a boulder.
He was building a retaining wall out at Sumner when the earthquake hit.
A 3 tonne boulder came down. Of the four workers, one was killed and he and another were injured.
"I turned into a full-time alcoholic after that."
He realised after losing a girlfriend he needed to "fix myself".
It took him "two years" and he said he was now not as "clouded" as he was before, despite having some bad weeks.
"My relationship with my son is ten times better than it's ever been.
"It's fun to sit and watch him be normal.
"And the confidence he has got is so incredible."
Jason spoke to CTV as part of its Challenge the Silence series. One in six boys will be sexually abused before they are 18. In this video series, 10 men have told their stories. All grew up believing they were the only ones it had happened to. Now they want other victims to know they are not alone and, if they are ready, help is there for them.
Need help?
Need to talk? 1737, free 24/7 phone and text number
Healthline: 0800 611-116
Lifeline Aotearoa: 0800 543-354
Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0508 828-865 (0508 TAUTOKO)
Samaritans: 0800 726-666
Alcohol Drug Helpline: 0800 787-797
General mental health inquiries: 0800 443-366
The Depression Helpline: 0800 111-757
Youthline: 0800 376-633, txt 234 or talk@youthline.co.nz
What’s Up (for 5-18 year olds; 1pm-11pm): 0800 942-8787
Tone Miller, Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse Dunedin/Invercargill: 0211987878.