It feels even longer when that time is spent reflecting on how it was your own actions that led to that separation.
Jake (not his real name) said initiatives behind the wire at Otago Corrections Facility had given him renewed motivation to improve his life choices for the sake of his children.
Jailed for two years for violent offending, he has spent time during his sentence in the Skills for Dads and Storybook Dads programmes.
As he faces another Father’s Day without his children, the father-of-four had spent time reflecting on what the programmes had taught him and how his offending had hurt his children, he said.
"I realised I have let them down by making a rash decision which has affected us massively," he said.
"It’s really affected my kids and partner and they are doing a hard sentence with me."
The programmes, which provided parenting skills as well as giving him a chance to interact with his youngest children through a recorded DVD, had changed his perspective on life.
"It’s changed the way I want to make decisions in the future and to keep my kids in the forefront of my mind in every decision," Jake said.
"It’s put a spotlight on how I want to be in the future."
He would probably be released later this year and was relishing the chance to become a better father, he said.‘‘I’m pretty excited. I know I need to take it slowly and slowly reintegrate back into my sons’ lives and their routines.
"Two years have passed and that’s a long time in their lives."
He wanted to ensure he provided the upbringing he never received himself.
"My parents are both alcoholics," he said.
"There was domestic violence and I was allowed to run pretty free and wild.
"I certainly don’t want my kids to have to find out for themselves as I did. I don’t want them to go the track I did."
OCF prison director Lyndal Miles said Jake’s situation was not uncommon among inmates.
"The majority of men in prison are parents," she said.
"The vast majority of these men will be returning to the community and their families and it makes sense for us to help them to maintain or build these connections while they are with us, and learn skills that will make them a better parent.
"These men are missing out on some of the milestones in their children’s lives. Being away from your family can be tough and more so when you are able to, at the most, see your family only once a week."
Corrections ran parenting support services for prisoners to help them be a part of their children’s lives.
"A large proportion of the men we work with have had absent fathers or haven’t necessarily been exposed to what many in the community would call positive parent role modelling in their own upbringing," Ms Miles said.
"They are keen the lives of their children will be different."
Storybook Dads, which had been running at the prison since 2007, allowed fathers to connect with their children through a story pack which included a video of them reading a chosen bedtime story, art and games.
"Over the past 12 months around 34 fathers have completed the programme," Ms Miles said.
"Absence from family is one of the hardest parts about being in prison and prisoners often say this is the most punishing part of a prison sentence."
