Despite being a highly intelligent former University of Otago associate professor in ancient history, he has decided the solution to the problem is to join a motorcycle club.
But not just any motorcycle club.
The 72-year-old has joined the Southern Classics — a group of retired men who catch up twice a week for bike rides, coffee and talks about things they usually try to avoid — like men’s health.
"We talk about things like prostate cancer and mental health issues.
"I think this is a very good thing for men.
"Men are idiots, you know, and they often struggle to communicate, and this is a place where people can just be themselves, go riding and have coffee, and just talk about their issues."
Mr Wheatley is one of about 170 men in the group, and one of about 50 who meet twice a week in person.
With his big bushy beard, his remaining hair in a long ponytail and dressed in leathers, he looks more like a biker than a retired university lecturer.
He lectured on Alexander the Great and ancient Greek and medieval history, but his passion for history also spreads as far as motorcycles.
"My love of history expands to motorcycles, but I’ve got numerous interests. I’m not just the one-hit wonder, as they say."
He has a small collection of Triumphs, Indians and a Ducati, as well as "a few others stashed away".
While he did not like to be called a bikie, he did have some of the traits, he said.
"I’ve had my nose broken five times. I can hold my own.
"I used to be a man that sort of didn’t know when to shut up, but I have a little bit more discretion now.
"As you can see, I’m not good at running. That’s my excuse."
Mr Wheatley said the thing he and his fellow riders loved about motorcycling the most was that it freed their minds.
"It takes your mind off the petty things in life, because you’re concentrating on what the idiots on the road are doing, what other road users are doing, what the weather’s doing, what that truck’s about to do to you.
"I’m also a little bit religious, so it’s a good time for me to talk to God."
Southern Classics administrator Ken Smeaton said it was not a club and there were no rules.
Instead, it was designed to be a lot more relaxed and social.
"You can sit with anyone here and have a good time and feel comfortable talking about awkward things.
"I’ve been in lots of clubs in my life and, for what it is, I didn’t realise how important this group of people is."
He said the weekly rides and coffees would continue over the festive season. At the end of the month, they had a long ride planned to celebrate the new year.
"We don’t believe in Christmas, because every day is Christmas with us guys."
